Overcoming the Fear of Flying High

As a child living in Memphis, Tennessee, there were a lot to things to fear. White people, old white men driving through the neighborhood with their privates in their hands, crossing Hiway 51 (now known as Elvis Presley Blvd), getting whoopings with thin tree branches, holding the center space during my mother's emotional collapses, standing tall between my mother and four younger siblings and my step father and with a loudsqueaky voice, daring him to harm us anymore and then being left behind to live with my grandparents when they left for Milwaukee. I feared leaving the neighborhood to cross through white territorities in order to reach other black communities; going to one of the first intergrated high schools in the city after the assassination of MLK, Jr; eye witnessing the beatings of black men and the murder of black people by whites who were never charged for any of these crimes and fear of some of the spirits who visited me in my dreams. I felt small and vulnerable almost everytime i stepped into the white world, alone. My grand parents had fled from Mississippi only to be chased into Memphis by white men who wanted the rights to the property my grandfather had to leave behind. We all were always on high alert, everyday. I was made to live in fear. It has been encoded in my DNA. So, no matter my academic accomplishments or sucess stories, fear was always there in the under current when moving about in the white man's world. As I grew older and left that world behind, while stuffi g my fear, I challenged that staus quo every step of the way, I felt alone for other blacks not from the south knew not of this kind of fear or maybe they had learned not to make waves. Taught primarily by black teachers before high school, I learned the history of great black leaders of the past and was shown the receipts of our greatness and of their own sufferings. Knowing the history of my family, witnessing what no child should ever see or feel, I rose above that fear to live in intergrated spaces. Yet, the fear has always been there. I still live amongst whites who exercise their privilege, who break into my home, who steal from me, who damage my property, and turned my pristine car into a hoopty; who have no shame because there are no repercussions for their acts of hate. Their whiteness protects them from prosecution. All I get to do is file police reports that get filed away on some dusty shelf or in a computer file. Challenging the rule of white privilege has its drawbacks. Intimidation, intentional emotional conflicts and isolation. Out of 248 condos here, only five are occupied by blacks, myself included. I stay because Spirit sent me to the desert to heal my body and to strengthen my mind so that I can l manifests my dreams in an hostile world, to see my reflections, to dissolve whatever is no longer mine to hold, to learn how to live in peace in my soul no matter where I am, to break the chains the bound me, to dissolve the ancestral fears that prevent me from being all that I am. I carry the fears and hopes of many souls.

One of the reasons I am here in the 4BKAcademy is learn how to conquer my fears, to finally lay them down for good, to release the bondages and chains that keep me from manifesting my destiny; to honor the courage of my ancestors who found a way out of no way. I am here to study and to claim the hermetic teachings as my own and for generations to come.

Billy Carson, you are late. I have been waiting for you and the 4BiddenKnowlege Academy since 1994. Just kidding. Your timing is perfect. In 1994, we couldn't have carry what I have to offer then. Now is the time. If we can pull this off, our world will never be the same. Heh, heh.

Hey, Nadolyn,

Maybe your fears no longer rise from the South. Maybe you fear leaping into the unknown. Maybe you fear becoming who you want to become. Maybe you fear disappointing others or failing to accomplish your dreams on the first try or to finally becom the leader of your life. Whatever you fear, let it go and JUMP into the reality to envision for yourself, your family, your community. If you want to be a service to others, have faith that the Universe will catch you. You can do this. Just breathe and leap off the cliff. Leave all your fears behind. Remember, you are already blessed with wings to fly high.

Hey, Nadolyn, Thoth sent you a message

https://youtu.be/6U4nYbDMRUI?si=TB7ojKa6AY-ne35E

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