When Good Feels Scary: How to Raise Your “Success Tolerance”

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Ever notice how some women experience anxiety spikes right after a win?

I want to be honest with you… Sometimes when I achieve a level of success that is new to me…I get nervous, because I wonder how long it will last or how to make it last longer.

Perhaps you were told, “What goes up, must come down”. Well, I have learned that is this a lie.

Consciousness goes up and it doesn’t come back down. Success goes up and it doesn’t have to come down. Sometimes the disappointment of it coming back down makes us afraid to pursue success on a new levelo

So many successful women go through this. Success is often something that your nervous system has to get used to every time you level up.

However, it’s not self-sabotage…it’s your nervous system not trusting the good yet. Many women have been taught that they should shrink when they rise to a level of success.

They were taught that being more successful than their husbands made him feel and look bad, so many women shrank their success to keep others comfortable.

Now so, many women feel nervous when they reach that next level of success because they wonder if they are going to still be loved and excepted for their success. the belief quietly runs in the back of their mind... "If I'm too successful... I will hurt other people"

Thus... Many women have to exercise their success tolerance meter within them because sometimes, when they win or have big success... a five-alarm fire goes off inside them as a warning that they might be too successful.... whatever that is!

Why does this happen

You have an upper-limit reflex: You exceeded your old “set point” for ease/love/money, so your system tries to pull you back to familiar (like a thermostat).

Anticipatory loss: If wins once brought criticism, bills, or betrayal, your brain pairs success = danger.

Identity lag: Results upgraded faster than your self-image.

Inherited rules: “Don’t outshine.” “Hard = worthy.” “If it’s easy, it won’t last.”

Control withdrawal: More progress = more visibility and variables you can’t micro-manage.

None of this is a character flaw. It’s just old outdated wiring.

Here is a quick self-scan you can do (notice what fits)

I feel edgy when things are quiet or easy.
I start fixing new goals immediately after a win.
I downplay wins to avoid attention or envy.
I sabotage (procrastinate, pick fights, overspend) post-good news.
I’m waiting for proof I deserve this before I relax.

Here’s a 2-minute reset (calm the body first)

Breathe: 4 in, 6–8 out × 8–10 breaths.
Anchor: Notice three supported points (feet, seat, back).
Name it: “I’m safe and things are going well.”

(We’re pairing safety and success on purpose.) ...Train your “success tolerance” (tiny daily reps)

Joy exposure: Sit with one small good thing for 60–180 seconds without optimizing it.

Win-and-stay: After a win, do nothing for 5 minutes…no planning, posting, or promising. Let your body digest the win to infuse it in your mind and heart.

Evidence log (nightly, 3 lines): What went well? 2) What I did to help? 3) What stayed safe after.

Pre-mortem light: “If this goes sideways, what’s my simple safeguard?” Create it, then relax.

Parts check: “Thanks, Protector. What are you trying to prevent?” Give it a better job (e.g., “Help me block a recovery buffer on my calendar,” not “torpedo the launch”).

Here is a belief upgrades (pick one & rehearse)