The Day I Didn’t Let Myself Fall Back Into Old Habits... My First $500K

My true story of walking away, waking up, and writing forward.

There was a moment in my life that split time and completely transformed my life… It didn’t look dramatic on the outside. I wasn’t screaming or crying or tossing things into boxes. No one saw it coming. Not even me.

But one morning, sitting under the hum of fluorescent lights in my high-paying accounting job, I heard it…that quiet, unshakable inner voice.

It didn’t beg. It didn’t shout. It simply whispered...“It’s time to go.”

At first, I didn’t listen, I blew it off. And then I heard it again.... “It’s time to go.”... “Vickie! It’s time to go”

I could feel the pound of my heart and the arguing my mind was doing... knowing that I had to be all in.

The decision I was making wasn’t reversable.... Would I trust myself or not?

That inner voice wasn’t giving me instructions as to “why” it was time to go… but then, I heard it again... “Vickie, it’s time to go.”

And so, I did… I stood up, walked out of that gray Dilbert cubicle... my mind racing and hands shaking knowing that I could never look back... but NOT knowing where I was moving forward to.

I drove home in silence. No plan. No applause. Just the sharp awareness that I had only $5,000 in the bank…and no idea what came next.

That number haunted me. It stared at me like a ticking clock. Eight weeks of survival, maybe less, if I wasn’t careful.

But I also knew something deeper… something was speaking to me, guiding me and talking to me at every moment. I knew that this was the moment... My moment.

At the time I left my job… I didn’t know what this inner voice wanted me to do. I had no clue or idea that it was going to ask me to write a book.

When I first heard it tell me that this what “We” were going to do, I thought it was the craziest idea because...

I didn’t know how to write a book.

I didn’t know how to use Microsoft Word. I used accounting software, QuickBooks.

I could barely spell.

I didn't know where to start

I didn't get good grades in school

I was embarrassed, even ashamed of how little I knew. I wasn't the right person for this job.

But the one thing I did know? I was going to figure it out because I had no back up plan!

I had to ask friends for help and felt so freakin embarrassed about how little I knew and how poorly I could spell… I didn't want others to find out that I was too stupid to write a book.

At the time I didn't think it was possible for me to write a book and my mind kept yelling at me... WTF are you doing?

But, I didn't know how to use spell check, my bad spelling was everywhere and so were red ink marks from friends who were correcting my work.

It was all very humbling... But I kept following the inner voice. It literally told me what to do next but never told me the plan.

So, I created a system that didn’t leave room for excuses. Every morning, I meditated for four hours because I was so scared about what was happening to me I couldn’t think well enough to write.

Meditating for that long helped me clear the noise in my head, centered my mind, and grounded me in possibility. Then, from noon until 8 pm, sometimes longer…I wrote.

Badly at first. Awkwardly. Clumsily. But I never let myself off the hook.

I kept writing and receiving help from friends… I am embarrassed to say that I was so defensive with them, and argued with my friends who were trying to help me... I took everything personally.

And they still loved me through the process... They quietly knew that I was embarassed and ashamed of my perceived stupidity...and spellng skills.

But they were determined to support me through it... what a blessing they were and I am forever grateful.

I wrote every single day because that’s all the time I had. Eight weeks. One shot. No backup plan.

That book was finished on the eighth week. It was edited by generous friends and eventually picked up by a publisher in London.

It became a success far beyond what I imagined. My first real success.

And then, the imposter syndrome set in.

Who was I to write a book?

Who was I to make a difference?

Who was I to be seen?

But even then, I didn’t fall back into old habits. I didn’t retreat into safety. I kept showing up. Kept writing. Kept speaking. Kept improving. Kept leading. Kept listening to that voice.

And that book, the one written by the woman who was so ashamed and embarassed, didn’t know Word or spelling or publishing, became the gateway to my first $500,000 in a single year.

Now let me be clear…

I’m not telling you this so you think it’ll happen the same way for you. I’m not saying you should walk out of your job or write a book on a deadline with only $5,000 in the bank.

What I am saying is this… You can’t let yourself fall back into the habits that kept you hidden, small and unseen. You can’t go back to who you were once you’ve heard the truth inside you talking to you.

You will benefit most by surrending to it and NOT letting yourself off the hook. Don't fall back into your past, fail forward into more of who you are.

That version of me, the one sitting at her desk feeling numb, silently suffocating, she died…she’s gone. And she’s never coming back. And this is how tranformation happens.

You say goodbye to your past and you lean into your future you.. and pull her into your now.

You may have to let your old self die too. In fact, I am sure of it.

I built a life around a deeper “yes.” And every time fear knocked, I answered with discipline, not doubt...and you will have to go through this transformation too.

That is how I have written 47 books, built 13 successful businesses, and helped thousands of women succeed. I helped me succeed first. Now is YOUR time.

You have to help yourself first.

So, here’s what I want to ask you today…

Are you all in on you?

Are you still waiting for safety, or are you building trust with your own soul?

What habit, pattern, or comfort are you willing to release today…for who you could become tomorrow?

Because you can’t win from the sidelines.

You’ve got to be in the arena… The arena of you… And when you are... you find out just how powerful you really are.

With love, truth, and fire,

Vickie Helm

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