Everything's in the video this week Quiet time for souls that want to settle https://inner-journey-jam.onrender.com/ Newbies click the link 10 minutes early and read through the instructions. This week it will actually work! Last week was a bit of a blowout, the tech went down, we have no idea why. But it was most likely. some conspiracy to stop people from feeling the depth of their own being. Most of the time we do that to ourselves though..

Further apologies for anyone trying to get in, the site is down at the moment! Trying to diagnose, if you want some quiet time the track is here but not sure if it will be fixed in time this week 🤦‍♂️ Sorry! https://www.mixcloud.com/woodfin18/quiet-time-meditation-track-breathwork-bilateral-brown-noise-brain-massage/?utm_medium=share&utm_source=clipboard&utm_content=show&utm_term=VXNlcjoyNjQ5NTA5

I would want to apologise here for how little I've been doing with this community. I appreciate so much all your willingness to be here. And I'm working like dog to bring together all the different threads into a coherent understandable offering here. For now though, the weekly quiet time posts and portal to stillness are all thats happening. Soon things will begin to change, and I thank you for your patience. Anyway. Here are some of my favourite thoughts for the week "Meditation is by far the best anti-ageing technology in terms of the type of anti-ageing that matters. Not because it makes you relaxed. But because it peels away all the perceptual filters we added since children that make most adults feel old. Meditate enough and the world regains all the vivid mystery of childhood. But this time with the wisdom of age." — Vacha Shame is not a problem to be solved. It's a kid whose hand needs to be held. — Me My life began when I stopped trying to force myself back into happiness and started loving whatever was taking me out of it. Anger, walls, numbness, or shutdown. All of it just wanted what I wanted: to be met without conditions. — Joe Hudson On emotional work: your protective strategies are allies to be welcomed rather than resistance to be cleared. — Me again The desire to be understood by others is often a displaced desire to understand ourselves. The desire to understand ourselves is often a displaced desire to experience ourselves fully. — Vacha It took me decades to really grok this in my bones: If there are aspects of ourselves we cannot own, we project those aspects onto other people. The clearest way to notice this is when we are triggered, judgmental, or annoyed at other people. — Joe Hudson Learning how to want sincerely, and just sit in it, and long, and not need to suppress anything in that movement, or gratify it, and just love the sensation, is a gift to yourself. — Me thrice Quite time is nearly upon us. Wishing you a blessed Sunday

The three images describe common themes in relational dynamics - The anger shame pattern - two sides of the same coin. We try to offload shame on one another like we're passing a hot coal. Expanding anger to invoke shrinking shame. Some of us have adopted shame as a survival strategy, which means our anger is numb but pointed inwards, some people are adept at invoking shame in others through anger, which means their shame tends to be numb, and anger is pointed outwards. Whichever way we do it, we need the other half to heal. Those who use shame to survive need to contact and integrate their anger. Those who use anger to survive need to contact and integrate their shame. The final image is of some conversational dynamics and ways we can start to soften the edges of hard emotions like anger and shame in relationship, become curious and exploratory, saying what needs to be said to bring the inner metronome to something well regulated and stable. ______________________ Some other good idea's "90% of conflict isn’t actually about the issue. It’s about the unspoken fear underneath. “I’m afraid of being controlled.” “I’m afraid of losing you.” “I’m afraid I’m not enough.” Acknowledging the fear out loud often changes everything." - Joe Hudson "The work of the eyes is done, now go do the heart work on the images imprisoned within you" - Rilke “The nervous system loves predictability, even if that predictability is arriving through hard things.” - Andrew Huberman Strikes me that when a lot of the cultural messaging is around creating impact, change, and making waves to get noticed, you get a body of water with lots of people making ripples and waves. No wonder there’s a stillness deficit, and people struggle to feel calm. - (This one was me) It’s not self improvement, it’s self love, which leads to an improved experience and functioning of self. - (Also me) So, getting quiet soon, 9pm uk, the clocks have changed, so it is an hour later than your body might expect, but that's whats up. See you on the cushions.

I was asked this week at a panel in London at the Blue Earth Summit on men's mental health; "What do you wish that you'd known/had when you were younger?" The eloquent version only really came to me later - I wish I'd have known sooner that emotions weren't a threat. They're essential information about what's happening, and what's happening will help determine what needs to be done. So emotions are essential for clarity. The more we suppress them, the more lost we become. I don't think many people knew that in the 80's in North Yorkshire. Then later in the week I read something that resonated: "Too many people have told me to "just trust my intuition" without acknowledging that trauma messes with your ability to trust ANYTHING — Real intuition comes after you've done the work to differentiate between body wisdom and survival patterns. It's earned. So no, you can't always "just trust your gut." Sometimes your gut is still terrified." Linnea Butler - Substack. And then this: "“Overthinking” could equally be called “underbodying.” When a person’s body is effectively numb, their cognitive mind is basically all they can feel. So there’s nothing else to do but think. As soon as one reconnects to the fullness of their body, thinking automatically becomes less compelling." Vacha - Substack. This is where we arrive at quiet time. Quiet time is foundational to patiently sort through all the sensations of the body, and the stories the mind has made up about them, to see what's relevant still, to see what can be let go. Add quiet time to somatic and embodied practices as well as mindset and you have a potent recipe for genuine transformation. But first, we get quiet. Let the water still, so we might see. 9pm UK time go here: https://inner-journey-jam.onrender.com/ Unless you're a first timer, then 8:50pm go here first https://www.canva.com/design/DAHPv51x5M0/ciEMbSvDkWiNdEdLoOep1A/view?utlId=h7590d60eb0