It’s about not being in motion with other people.
Research consistently shows It reduces when we do small, visible things with others.
Not deep conversations.
Not pouring your heart out.
Not finding “your people”.
Simple behaviours.
Things like:
being in the same place regularly
doing something side-by-side
speaking briefly, even awkwardly
being seen doing the same thing more than once
Why?
Because the brain doesn’t measure connection by intimacy all the time,
it measures it by frequency and predictability.
When contact is low-pressure and repeated, the nervous system relaxes.
When connection depends on meaning or depth, it feels risky, so people withdraw from it.
That’s why loneliness often gets worse when people try harder to fix it.
The most effective tools aren’t emotional.
They’re behavioural.
Show up.
Repeat.
Be visible.
Leave before it gets heavy.
Loneliness eases when your system learns:
“I exist in other people’s world.”
This isn’t about becoming social.
It’s about becoming present.