The Quietus House is here in real life. The non profit has taken form and the doors open 12/31/27 By December 17th the social media is launched as well as episode #1 of In The Gap. I will also find a mentor in the nonprofit space.

As excited as I have been about reaching my goal, having 50% in already for the month at the beginning of Dec, I thought it was a done deal. And slowly but surely, 4 clients have cancelled or rescheduled for next year and I literaly lost a potential patient yesterday due to not fast enough follow up on my part. I am exhausted, brain fogged and not thinking straight. It really feels IMPOSSIBLE and yet I know I can do this!!! somehwere down in my sould I know I can... it just seem very blurry right now. Today I will regroup with my self, my tasks and more of the "To Dos" but somehow I know the permanent solution is not found in working more or harder, it is found in some blind spot that I just cant pin point. I am setting my goal from $100K to $60K, it is going to be difficult without those four people but not impossilble. I have been asking people more frequently,,, and if this or that, what is possible for you? and the answers have been amazing. I put post it papers all over the place to remind me but I still forget to ask, i need to incorporate it into my fiber of converstation not have it be another questions to ask ✅. I got a end of year bonus, which I am super thankful for, and somehow feel it is not fully deserved, that is work from the past, so I have to get over that!!! But I want that sense of accomplishment of what is possible this month when I reach my $60K++++ 🌟 Frustrated but still kicking ass!!!❤️‍🔥

I’m seeing how much resistance I have to sharing publicly in this course - not much different from my major fear of putting myself out there in life. It’s rooted in an inherited generational shame. In my adolescence I was an overachiever - top athlete, student, a leader in several extracurricular activities.. title after title and award after award. I was voted Most Likely to Succeed by my high school class, which behind the scenes I was campaigning to win. I came into this course and named my project Prime Time, as I turned 37 (prime #) at the beginning of the course, and I was having a lot of memories of when I was 17 (prime #) and this super driven, high achieving competitive person and I was unapologetic about it. Though I can see now how much of that was the ego. Behind the high achievements was someone whose parents would never approve of, will never be perfect enough, an outcast of society. I went to one of the top business universities in the country and stopped being a driven high achiever - I failed a few classes because I wasn’t going and basically gave up, then got put on academic probation. Eventually I did get my shit together and graduated, but since then I’ve often not related to myself as the “most likely to succeed.” While I did move things forward in the past few months, I’ve encountered an enormous amount of resistance and I did not take on the assignments each week with integrity. I went through the motions a lot. Just writing this out I can see it’s a pattern that goes back to my time in college when I started to realize this intense desire I had to be THE BEST was this major inauthenticity of overcompensation… Making a ton of money as a business major wasn’t what really what made my soul happy. I hated my business classes and missed Spanish, history, and the social sciences but felt obligated to finish what I started as to not let my parents down even more. In my senior year I got my heart broken because of the way my coming out to my parents went. But I just kept doing what I thought I had to do to survive and “be a good, successful member of society.”

Can we just talk about how amazing Skool is!?! I love the app AND having everything in one place! Thank you all for sharing your Soul-Goals and pics!