The whole thing comes down to one idea—that we keep trying to punish ourselves into becoming someone we'll finally love. And it has never once worked.
So finish this, however it comes out. No wrong answer:
"I keep trying to shame myself into ______."
The blank does the starting for her. A blank to fill always beats an open question.
I wrote a deeper piece on why we do this—I'll drop the link in the comments if you want to read the full breakdown.