First, Thank You in advance for letting me share such a long post.... I just felt strongly to share today because this community has been so critical in my healing journey. Sending all my love to you all! I have been obsessed with the yin/yang symbol for as long as I can remember. The whole idea that nothing is meant to be extreme always resonated with me. My wedding cake even had the symbol on it as we felt it was a great to way to represent how we always choose to honor who the other person is even while respecting each other and assisting each other (we had a very untraditional wedding held in our home!). How easy it is to move into extreme land has always fascinated me. It always felt like that is why tending the balance seemed so important, because it was hard, it was clearly the right thing to do -- as it seemed to be the case with most things that were the "right" thing to do. As I began my journey inward a few years ago, I started learning the Tarot to use it as a tool to begin a journaling practice. This quickly turned into also facilitating my own shadow work. I am a Sagittarius sun and rising (and Leo moon), so the deep desire to understand the unknowable has always called to me. Ironically, I had never really spent time figuring out what that really meant to me before because I was so busy "finding" and "learning" and "striving for" the answers in the external world. Through this shadow work, I quickly started to see how much attention I would give to the idea of contrast, duality, polarity, paradox. I started spending hours writing about these concepts, what they mean to me, why they matter to me, and where I observe these energies all around me. In the last several months, since joining this group of amazing women and showing up for myself in a new way and showing up for other women (and of course, furthering my embodiment of Mary Magdalene's teachings) the idea of a sacred union (or sacred marriage) has emerged. It puts words to something I had been feeling inside, more than just the loving integration of past versions of myself with my consciousness, of where it all had started.

Here is my writing from circle tonight... what if that sister I was looking for is me? I was the girl who didn't know who she was Looking at everyone else, it felt they were so sure How could that be!? I was fascinated - I wanted to try everything! How could I be both so self assured in the external world AND so sure inside that I was doing it all wrong? What do they think- what do I think? I grew up with Madonna It was the 90's and I could do anything! Women could do whatever men could do Except of course... anywhere and everywhere we couldn't I was oblivious I told stories to myself when I hit a "hard no wall" Oh that is traditional so that's not where I can go Oh the men have been in control for so long they won't give up so easy and let us take over too So I need to get really good at what I do so they can't deny me I need to play the game Know my limits Know the rules So I can break them and rebuild them in a way that makes sense Leverage my sweetness, blondness, cuteness to make change happen without being a threat Use the right language and get the right training, certifications and experience Get to yes, win-win at all costs If I had not been "alone" all those years Striving and pushing and "keeping up" with the men And that sister I wanted was always right here, in me, as me... as I know her now. I wouldn't have appreciated her like I do I wouldn't have acquired a way to hold her tenderly and fiercely with a love I couldn't have understood without the contrast of knowing the separateness. Thank you for a beautiful circle tonight- sending hugs to all you brave, curious, courageous, sweet, loving, open, fierce, women!

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Today the theme was May Pole. It was said in three different conversations and expressed visually in another. How can this be? I was in many COOL conversations today preparing for our summit! Squeeeel. I love when Mary confirms she wants us to keep helping her rise in the consciousness of many and use her words to help us love ourselves again !

A chalk art festival in Santa Barbara - but the name has roots to street artists drawing the Madonna in front of churches