Missing the mark · The Kingdom Relationship Room

Missing the mark

Lately, something keeps coming up in my conversations with couples and I felt it was worth sharing here.

Couples are often arguing about a word or topic, but each person has a completely different understanding of what that word actually means.

Take "respect" for example.

To one person, respect means being spoken to in a certain way. To the other, it means being honoured and appreciated for what they do. Same word. Totally different meaning.

When we are not clear on what our partner actually means, miscommunication creeps in and before you know it, you are both arguing about completely different things without even realising it.

This is why I teach my couples the 3 C's framework.

✅ Check ✅ Connect ✅ Clarify

The Check alone can stop so many arguments from escalating.

It sounds like this:

"When you say _____, I heard _____. Is that what you meant?"

Simple. But powerful.

It gives your partner the chance to say yes or explain it differently. Either way, you now have a clearer picture of what they actually mean. Which means you can finally have the conversation you were both trying to have.

I have added the 3 C's framework document I use with my couples to the tools and resources section. Feel free to grab it and start using it in your conversations.

And I would love to know, do you find there are times you misunderstand your partner? Drop it in the comments. 👇🏾

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Missing the mark