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13d • Chat 😁
Long but worth the read! 📚
I want to start with something really clear: SEND is real.
Neurodivergence doesn’t disappear outside the school gates. It isn’t just a “school problem.”
But what I see time and time again is this:
the visibility and impact of those needs are often magnified inside school because our education system is so rigid, narrow and standardised.
Think about it.
Schools haven’t fundamentally changed much in the last 100 years.
They run on linear, age-based expectations:
by 5 you should do X,
by 8 you should do Y,
by 11 you’ll be tested against the same yardstick as everyone else.
But for many neurodivergent children, development is uneven. They might be years ahead in one area while still needing support in another.
That isn’t failure. That’s human diversity.
A rigid curriculum turns difference into deficit.
Instead of nurturing strengths and interests, we try to force everyone through the same narrow channel — and then act surprised when some children struggle.
Then there’s the environment itself.
Noisy. Crowded. Bright lights. Constant transitions. Bells. Uniforms. Rules about how to sit, move, speak and eat.
For many children, this is overwhelming. Regulation becomes harder. Learning becomes secondary to survival. We could make these spaces more inviting — but often we don’t.
And here’s the thing: the evidence is already profound.
When children are placed in environments that actually fit them — such as well-resourced SEN schools — we repeatedly see the same pattern.
Children settle. Confidence grows. Regulation improves. Learning follows.
And then come behaviour policies!!!
Points systems. Detentions. Exclusions.
Too often, these punish unmet need.
A child who melts down in the dinner hall or struggles with transitions isn’t “choosing to misbehave” — they’re reacting to a system that wasn’t designed with them in mind. The fear of failure then pushes many children to mask, withdraw, or disappear altogether.
This is why so many parents end up fighting for diagnoses and EHCPs.
Not because they want a label for its own sake, but because they quickly learn that without one, their child won’t be supported.
The fight isn’t for a piece of paper.
It’s for survival in a rigid environment.
And I want to be clear: diagnoses matter. EHCPs matter. For many families, they are a lifeline.
But imagine if support was just… there.
If difference was expected as a normal way of being human.
If schools were flexible enough to adapt without needing to medicalise every child who falls outside the “norm.”
We already see glimpses of this outside the school gates too.
Many neurodivergent children cope far better in the holidays, in home education, or in interest-led clubs. Same child. Different environment.
So maybe the real question isn’t:
“Why are one in five children SEND?”
But: “Why is our system so rigid that one in five children are set up to struggle within it?”
Parents aren’t wrong for seeking support.
Children aren’t wrong for being different.
What’s wrong is a system that confuses standardization with fairness, compliance with learning, and rigidity with success.
SEND isn’t the problem.
The system is!
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Long but worth the read! 📚
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