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The Fatherhood Hangout is happening in 7 days
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📍 Start Here: Welcome to The Fatherhood Framework
For a long time, I thought fatherhood was something I’d get to. Like there was a version of myself waiting down the road — the more successful, balanced, complete version who would finally have time to be the dad I wanted to be. You know that old story: Once I make more money. Once we have the house. Once things settle down. Then I’ll really show up. Then I’ll be patient. Present. Playful. But the truth is, that “once I have” version of life is a mirage. It’s like the lottery winner who suddenly winds up broke. Not because they didn’t have enough, but because they never built the habits, systems, or self to hold what they wanted. Fatherhood doesn’t start once the boxes are ticked. It starts when we stop waiting to feel ready. This school isn’t about finding perfection. It’s about practicing presence. It’s about showing up NOW even when life feels half-built. 📍WHAT THIS SPACE IS This is a school for fathers who don’t just want to tell their kids they can be anything and we want to show them how. It’s not about being the perfect dad, husband, or man. It’s about being a practicing one. You’ll find stories, reflections, and conversations here about what it means to grow while our kids are watching. To let them see us train, build, stumble, and get back up; not just for them, but with them. 📍HOW TO BEGIN 1. Introduce yourself. 2. Engage. 3. Reflect. We’re not trying to “win” fatherhood. We’re learning to live it. Welcome to The Fatherhood Framework. Let’s show them how.
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🪵 The Pillars We Stand On
When I first thought about starting this community, I imagined it would be for creatives, performers, storytellers, or entrepreneurs. People who WANTED to do something with their lives. That’s the world I came from. And I still love it. But the longer I sat with the idea, the more I realized something about fathers: We’re not people who want to do things with our lives. We’re people who HAVE to. There are no more excuses. No more “when I finally have time” or “once things calm down.” There is only showing up. And that’s where the framework, or the pillars, of this Skool come in. Not rules. Not commandments. Just reminders of how we keep showing up for ourselves, and for the little eyes watching. ⚙️ The Four Pillars These are the cornerstones that guide what we practice here. Not all at once. Not perfectly. Just consistently. 1️⃣ Train Daily Growth doesn’t happen in the background. It’s built through repetition in body, mind, and craft. When we train daily, we teach our kids that consistency beats talent. 2️⃣ Act Boldly We’ve already played small. Now, every choice, every risk, every “I’ll try”, shows them what courage looks like. 3️⃣ Invest Wisely Our time, our energy, our attention; these are currencies. What we invest in, we multiply. And what we neglect, we lose. 4️⃣ Love Honestly It’s the hardest one. Because honesty demands presence. It means our kids see us as we are. Imperfect, human, still learning, and they love us not despite that, but because of it. These aren’t lessons for our kids. They’re lessons for us. Because the truth is, fatherhood doesn’t ask us to stop dreaming. It asks us to make those dreams visible. To keep building, creating, and living in a way that says, “This is what it looks like to keep becoming.” Welcome to the work. Welcome to The Fatherhood Framework.
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We all have a Dad voice, right?
How do you handle disciplining your kids? I know there’s a wide age range in this group but if there a certain point, we all need to tell our kids had a behave. Anybody have any tricks for keeping their cool in these situations?
Lately I’ve been sitting with a strange but familiar truth...
...I don’t fully know what’s next. I don’t know exactly what this group is going to become. I don’t know what the “final form” looks like yet. And it would be easy to label that as being lost. But honestly? I don’t feel lost in a bad way. I feel like I’m choosing my next move. One thing I do know, across improv, business, work, and fatherhood, is that everything keeps coming back to the same question: What game am I playing right now? As fathers, I think we get tripped up when we’re juggling multiple games at once and forget to name which one matters most in the moment. Provider. Partner. Leader. Playmate. Student. Builder. Sometimes we’re exhausted not because we’re failing but because we’re switching games without realizing it. This past week drove that home for me. Big wins at work. Real learning moments as a dad. Some situations that required instinct, restraint, and humility. The kind of stuff you don’t get a manual for. And that’s part of why I’m grateful this space exists; even if it’s still evolving. Sometimes it’s a place to think things through. Sometimes it’s a place to rant. Sometimes it’s just a place to drop a dumb meme and breathe for a second. I don’t have all the answers yet but I am here. And I want this to be a space where you feel like you can be too. Which brings me to something I want your help with. A group can exist and be “nice”… but for it to really matter, there has to be something you’re moving toward. Some kind of transformation, engagement, or intrigue that makes you want to show up, not out of obligation, but because it actually helps. So I’ll ask you directly: What would need to change in your life for this group to be worth participating in? What do you want more clarity on? What game are you trying to play better right now? Drop a comment. One sentence is enough. I’m listening because I want to build this with you, not just for you.
The Worst-Case Scenario Isn’t Hell
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the end of my journey here. Not in a dark or morbid way, but in the way you think about the end of a journey when you’ve reached the end of others before. I’ve finished contracts. Finished life on ships. Finished college. Finished living in the country I grew up in. I know what endings feel like. What’s interesting is that most endings aren’t as final as they seem. There’s often a way back. Sometimes I’ve gone back. Sometimes I haven’t. But endings still force a reckoning. That’s what this is. When people talk about worst-case scenarios after death, they usually jump straight to hell. Fire, brimstone, endless suffering, eternal punishment. Strangely enough, that doesn’t scare me as much as it probably should. There’s something almost workable about it. You could prepare for suffering. You could build mental toughness, discipline, endurance. You could learn how to carry weight without reward. I’m not defending hell, but I understand it. What scares me more is something quieter. Imagine being sat down at the end of your life and shown a highlight reel. Not a judgment. Just a record. Your life, as lived. And as you watch it, the overwhelming feeling isn’t horror or pain, but disappointment. That’s it? That I spent my time chasing easy pleasures. Sitting on the couch. Avoiding discomfort. Numbing myself. Ignoring things I knew mattered. And now it’s over, and there’s no fixing it. No tools left. No strength to summon. No second attempt. That, to me, feels like the real worst-case scenario. The ancient Stoics had a phrase for this. Memento mori. Remember, you must die. Marcus Aurelius didn’t mean this as a threat. He meant it as a lens. Let the fact of death shape how you live, how you choose, how you act today. And if I’m honest, I haven’t been doing that. Somewhere along the way, I started conflating pleasure with reward. Comfort with meaning. Relief with progress. And they are not the same thing. Pleasure isn’t evil. It isn’t the problem. The problem is unchosen pleasure, the kind you fall into when you’re under-aimed. When you don’t know what you’re moving toward, your nervous system grabs whatever makes the moment quieter.
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It’s one thing to tell our kids they can be anything.
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