"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon

Today's Fireside topic was: Observe, Don't Absorb. As we talked about what that means in real life, one of us described it simply as "staying in my lane." Sometimes the challenge isn't knowing where the boundary is, it's having the courage to honor it. When we remind ourselves to stay in our lane, we're less likely to take responsibility for things that were never ours to carry, and more able to step back and simply observe what is happening around us. Several of us acknowledged that observing without absorbing is easier said than done. We care deeply about people. We see their struggles, their mistakes, their self-sabotage, and naturally want to help. But often, that desire to help pulls us right back into patterns of overextending ourselves, trying to fix problems that aren't ours to solve. One member shared that she'd love to hear from people who seem naturally gifted at not absorbing the emotions and choices of others. What wisdom do they have? How do they remain compassionate without becoming responsible? We also discussed the reality that when we begin setting healthier boundaries, the people around us may not immediately celebrate the change. In fact, they may push back. When others are accustomed to our rescuing, fixing, or carrying, stepping out of that role can feel uncomfortable for everyone involved. That's why holding boundaries isn't about controlling others but more it's about protecting our own well-being. The biggest takeaway from the conversation is that observing doesn't mean we stop caring. It means we trust others enough to let them walk their own path, make their own choices, and learn their own lessons. We can offer support without carrying the weight. We can care without absorbing. As one of us put it, "Who knew that protecting your peace would not be peaceful." Sometimes the most loving thing we can do both for ourselves and for others, it just to "stay in our lane." Great conversation everyone, thanks to all that joined! If YOU are interested in coming to the Fireside chat, we have them at 8am PST on Tuesdays. The topics are in the calendar. Hope to see everyone there!

I was thinking about what the signs look like for someone who is truly happy. I thought for years I could reach it by making changes to my life. The truth was I had it the whole time, it just showed more clearly as I've aged. https://borumj.wordpress.com/2026/06/11/looking-for-happy/

Do you have an ingredient house? @Patricia Werner brought this up earlier this week, and she said that her daughter calls their house an "Ingredient House." An ingredient house is exactly what it sounds like. When you open the pantry, refrigerator, or freezer, you don't find a lot of ready-made meals, snack cakes, frozen dinners, or grab-and-go convenience foods. Instead, you find ingredients: eggs, vegetables, fruit, cheese, meat, flour, rice, beans, spices, and the basics needed to create a meal. In an ingredient house, if you're hungry, there's food available, but it usually requires a little effort. You might need to chop, cook, assemble, or plan. The food isn't hidden behind brightly colored packaging promising instant satisfaction. It's simply waiting to be turned into something nourishing. What I found interesting about Patty's description is that it isn't really about dieting or restriction. It's about creating an environment that supports the choices you want to make. Rather than relying solely on willpower, the house itself gently encourages healthier habits. (READ THIS PARAGRAPH AGAIN!!) It made me wonder how many of our daily decisions are influenced not by our intentions, but by our surroundings. Whether it's food, spending, clutter, screen time, or even relationships, our environment often nudges us toward certain behaviors without us realizing it. An ingredient house isn't necessarily a perfect house. It just creates a little pause between an impulse and an action. And sometimes that pause is enough to help us make a different choice. It's an interesting concept to think about beyond food. What areas of our lives might benefit from becoming a little more "ingredient-based" and a little less "instant access"? What does your house encourage more of? And is it encouraging what you actually want? Thanks for the nugget, Patty!!