I had finally dropped my first YouTube video but straight deleted it man straight overthinking and shi imma remake today tho yall go subscribe for me gang finna get active with this content creating stuff

I haven’t been in the right state of mind lately so I gave my mom some flowers and seeing her smile and be happy lifted my spirits and gave me more motivation to pursue my goals. Idk if you would call this a small win 🤷🏾‍♂️

Alright now if you're tired of me that is the point of my willing to share and spread wisdom and knowledge 👁️‍🗨️ I have three great niches that I want to kickoff for future income to last through generations. (1) °Movie directing • §tarting off small with web series Netflix material but Tubi realness I'm really a female Jordan Peele before the movies and shows; Us, They and Get out. (2) °Convient and unique inventions 🤫👂• §tarting to stock up on items for my inventions as well as inventory (3) °Music • §tart writing lyrics more than I practice freestyling so that my lyrics will come together and make sense into a full song with chrouses

“How about I give you the finger? And you give me my phone call.” I don’t normally throw up the finger in photos, but only to make that small reference in this instance. It’s a cool line in an iconic scene. Shortly before I had my awakening and realized I was Chosen just a little less than a year ago, I think spirit really drew me back to rewatching this film. I didn’t know why, but I was obsessed, addicted with rewatching this movie everyday for no inexplicable reason other than Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne are amazing actors (John Wick?) and I’m a heavy sci-fi fan. My life then was a hamster wheel, stuck in a toxic and evil 9-5, living with a physical and emotionally abusive narcissistic parent who most of my income went to, co-dependent on marijuana to get through each day and night as my undealt trauma and depression worsened into further self-apathy, and so far strayed away from my God-given creative hobbies - writing and illustrating. Despite being Christian all my life, now classifying myself as a Spiritual Christian, I was borderline NIHILISTIC. I felt and behaved like a lost soul despite knowing what my God-given gifts were and having direction in life because of it. Regardless, I became a walking epitome of that Doomer meme with the guy wearing a black beanie and a cig always in his mouth. This was my Dark Knight of the Soul. To be honest, I don’t even think I’m fully out of it yet. Although a lot of people and places were purged out of my life last year, including the abusive narc, I find myself at another toxic 9-5 and currently involved in another cycle of workplace bullying and overall unempathy considering my struggling mental health. At my last workplace, I severely let go of myself as my self-apathy reached unexpected and unimaginable heights, 20+ years of being continuously traumatized as a kid and abused into adulthood behind closed doors in the making. To be frank, no one from home nor my so-called “friends” at work who resorted to laughing at me couldn’t care less if I lived or died, and neither did I. I honestly believed my life was written to be a tragedy in the book of life, someone who most saw as a meek and kind-natured person filled with internal happiness and chasing big dreams… having all that end by being laughed at to death for trauma unseen, and my current circumstances were a consequence of me living for too long. My intuition told me “This would be all over soon,” and I interpreted that as death as I constantly felt dread follow me everywhere I went. I didn’t care for the current day nor the next as I believed death would take me out before the next day or even the next hour would arrive, but instead I was saved just in time by God. I’m glad to say my thoughts no longer align with my old thoughts of last year and will never be. Realizing I was Chosen gave me lots of closure for why my so-called “supportive and loving mother” was constantly triggered into abusing me up into adulthood and psychologically torturing me for a period of time when I was 8-11, and it explained why I was so drawn to rewatching The Matrix. That movie was literally made for Chosen Ones. I’m Neo. We’re all literally Neo. We have agents in our lives. We felt there was something wrong with the world, decided to take the red pill, and now we woke up. It’s funny because I so badly wanted to just reach into the screen and grab that red pill.

I am grateful for my left arm getting better with each and every sunset. I am grateful for my family because there always there for me. I am grateful for this community because them videos rell bout to post are going to be life changing. I am grateful for my ancestors because they guide me and protect me in way I can’t understand yet. I am grateful for having food to eat because it keeps me pushin. I am grateful for Mother Nature because all the beautiful things she has for us to see. I am grateful for my power because I can share it with the world. I am grateful for this bed because I am able to sleep on it. I am grateful for my phone because I am able to explore the world with it. I am grateful for waking up today because I talked to my cousin I haven’t talked to in a mintue.