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Welcome to Heart-In-Mind
Welcome. If you’re here, something in you paused long enough to listen instead of react. That matters. This space exists for men who want to understand themselves more clearly — not fix themselves, not perform growth, not prove anything. What this space is: – A place for grounded conversation – A place to slow patterns down and see them clearly – A place where awareness comes before action What this space is not: – Therapy – A crisis line – A place for emotional dumping or fixing others You don’t need to share your story. You don’t need to post right away. You don’t need to know what to say. Your only step right now is simple: 👉 Watch the introduction video pinned below. Take your time. Arriving calmly is part of the work.
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Community Guidelines & Boundaries
(Please read — this protects everyone) This space exists to support awareness, regulation, and grounded connection. To keep it safe and sustainable, a few boundaries matter. These aren’t rules to restrict you — they’re here to protect the quality of the space. ⸻ 1. This is not therapy or crisis support This community is educational and reflective in nature. • It does not replace therapy, medical care, or crisis services • If you are in acute emotional distress, outside professional support is essential You are welcome here — but this space cannot hold crisis-level needs. ⸻ 2. Share with intention, not intensity Growth here happens through clarity, not emotional flooding. Please avoid: • Trauma dumping • Graphic details • Long, un-contained personal stories Short, reflective sharing is encouraged. One or two sentences is often enough. ⸻ 3. No fixing, diagnosing, or advising others This is important. Do not: • Tell others what they should do • Analyze or diagnose someone’s behaviour • Try to “save” or correct another member If you respond, respond with: • Curiosity • Reflection • Your own experience (without comparison) Presence > advice. ⸻ 4. Silence is allowed You are not required to post, comment, or introduce yourself. Reading quietly, observing, and taking time to integrate is valid participation. There is no pressure to perform growth here. ⸻ 5. Respect privacy and confidentiality What is shared here stays here. • No screenshots • No sharing stories outside the group • No discussing other members elsewhere This space relies on trust. ⸻ 1. Respectful communication only This is a grounded, emotionally intelligent space. Not allowed: • Shaming • Hostility • Dismissive or belittling language • Debates meant to win rather than understand Different perspectives are welcome. Disrespect is not. ⸻ 7. Boundaries with the facilitator To protect the integrity of the space: • Coaching happens inside the group or in paid containers • Direct messages are not used for private coaching or crisis support.
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A Sunday’s Simple Check-In (No Explaining Needed)
Take a moment and answer this only for yourself Right now, I’m mostly operating from: A) Tension B) Numbness C) Control D) Calm E) I’m not sure F) Something else No story required. No fixing required. Awareness comes before change — always. If you want to respond, one letter is enough but you can share more if you feel the need. If not, just notice what came up. That’s the work.
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What is True Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation isn’t “staying calm all the time.” It’s not swallowing anger. It’s not shutting down. And it’s definitely not exploding and calling it “being honest.” 👉 True emotional regulation is the ability to stay present with emotion without being hijacked by it. Here’s what that actually means — in real, understandable terms 👇 ⸻ 🧠 Your brain has two main modes • Survival mode (amygdala + stress hormones) • Regulation mode (prefrontal cortex + nervous system balance) When something triggers you — criticism, rejection, conflict, disrespect — your brain decides before you think whether you’re safe. If it senses threat: ⚡ Heart rate goes up ⚡ Muscles tense ⚡ Logic goes offline ⚡ You react (defend, shut down, lash out, escape) That’s not weakness. That’s biology. ⸻ 🧠 Emotional regulation = keeping your thinking brain online True regulation means: • You notice the emotion • You feel it in your body • You don’t act from it immediately In neuroscience terms: 👉 You’re keeping the prefrontal cortex engaged while the amygdala is activated. In real life terms: 👉 You pause instead of react. ⸻ 🧍‍♂️ This is why men struggle with regulation Most men were trained early to: • Ignore body signals • Push through stress • Suppress fear, sadness, vulnerability Over time, that creates one of two patterns: 1️⃣ Explosion (anger, control, blame) 2️⃣ Disappearance (shutdown, numbness, avoidance) Neither is regulation. Both are survival strategies. ⸻ 🛠️ What true emotional regulation actually looks like It looks like: • Feeling anger without becoming aggressive • Feeling fear without running • Feeling sadness without collapsing • Feeling triggered without making it someone else’s fault It’s not soft. It’s not passive. It’s controlled strength. ⸻ 🧬 The nervous system piece (this matters) Regulation happens in the body first, not the mind. When you slow your breathing, ground your body, or name what you feel: 🫁 Breath signals safety ❤️ Heart rate lowers
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This community is for men navigating life’s turning points — rebuilding self-trust, rediscovering peace, and understanding through self-awareness.
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