You had a great coffee chat. Then you sent this email.

Most follow-up emails after a coffee chat read like a cover letter.

Formal.

Over-explained.

Almost apologetic.

Here’s one I helped a friend rewrite this week. She’d had a coffee chat with someone at a company she really wanted to get into and wanted to follow up asking for a referral and an intro to the hiring manager.

This was her first draft:

“After reflecting on our conversation, I’m especially interested in this role, since it seems to align well with my background. If you’re still open to it, I’d really appreciate an introduction to the hiring manager.”

It’s not bad.

But it’s hedging everywhere. “Seems to align.” “If you’re still open to it.” “I’d really appreciate.”

She’s describing herself like she’s not sure she’s qualified.

Here’s what we rewrote it to:

“This role feels like the most natural fit for where I’m at right now. If you’re open to it, I’d love an intro to the hiring manager.”

Same information.

Half the words.

Twice the confidence.

If you’ve had a coffee chat recently and haven’t followed up yet, what’s stopping you?

*slightly anonymized

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You had a great coffee chat. Then you sent this email.