2d (edited) • General discussion
The Rite W1D4
F — FRAME IT (Name the Truth Clearly)
My False Self is not evil.
It is protective.
I became the Performer because performance kept me safe when emotion was unheld.
What feels like discipline, productivity, and responsibility is often avoidance:
• avoiding grief
• avoiding weakness
• avoiding the memory that taught me softness was unsafe
Core frame:
My discipline has been protecting me from pain, not always forming me in truth.
⸻
I — FEEL IT (Let the Cost Register)
When I imagine stopping the performance:
• my chest tightens
• I feel exposed
• I feel undefined
• I feel the fear of being seen without composure
Underneath that fear is grief:
I had to become strong because no one held the moment.
This grief has been postponed by productivity.
Let it be felt — not fixed.
⸻
R — FACE IT (Where It Shows Up Today)
I face this honestly:
• I attack my body, training, and output to stay ahead of feeling
• I rely on being the steady leader to avoid vulnerability
• I confuse control with comfort
• I use discipline as proof of worth
The false agreement I’ve made:
If I stay productive and composed, I won’t have to revisit the place where I felt unheld.
This agreement costs me:
• intimacy in marriage
• softness in leadership
• peace that isn’t earned
• trust that doesn’t require proof
⸻
E — FORGE IT (The New Posture)
I do not destroy the Performer.
I relieve him of authority.
Forged truth:
• My worth does not come from output
• My leadership does not require composure
• My discipline does not need self-contempt
• My existence is not secured by performance
Embodied response (when the Performer activates):
• I notice the urge to prove
• I do not add effort or explanation
• I allow the moment to remain unresolved
• I stay present instead of impressive
This is not collapse.
This is re-sourcing.
5:16
5
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The Rite W1D4
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