We can't deny that life comes with hurts and hiccups that can have a lasting impact on us. Often we carry these scars into our process of finding love. And sometimes these unhealed scars can have detrimental impacts on our ability to feel, find and navigate love. Healing is a significant aspect of the journey of finding love. Have you experienced this in your journey for finding love? If so, how? I would love to offer you support as you grow ❤️

​Ever wonder why some couples seem to flow effortlessly while others are constantly arguing about "who does what"? ​The secret isn't that they’ve escaped the "transactional" nature of life—it’s that their exchange of value is working so well, it has become invisible. ​Here is a breakdown of the "Invisible Transaction" and how to keep yours running smoothly: ​ ⚡ 1. The Utility Company Metaphor ​Think about your power bill. If the lights turn on when you flip the switch and the company gets paid automatically, you don't think about the transaction. You just enjoy the electricity. - ​When do you notice it? Only when the power goes out or the bill is unexpectedly high. - ​The Lesson: In a healthy relationship, both parties feel they are getting at least as much value as they are giving. When the "trade" is fair, you don't feel like you’re "trading" at all—you just feel like you’re in love. ​ 🚩 2. Why "Counting" Is a Warning Sign ​If you start thinking, "I’ve done the dishes three times this week and they haven't done them once," or "I always initiate intimacy," the transaction has become visible. - ​Visibility = Dissatisfaction: Once you start measuring the exchange precisely, it’s a sign that you feel you’re getting a "raw deal." - ​The Reality: If relationships weren't transactional at their core, it wouldn't matter if the trade was unfair. But it does matter. Resentment grows when value isn't being reciprocated. ​ 🛠️ 3. How to Make Your Transaction Invisible Again ​Relationships are challenging because we often exchange things of fluctuating value (time, emotional support, chores) without explicitly negotiating them. To keep the peace, try these two strategies: - ​The "Fuzzy" Look: People in long-term relationships don't count too precisely. They allow for fluctuations over time. They don't look at the numbers through a microscope; they look at the big picture. - ​Correct Your Bias: Humans naturally overvalue what they give and undervalue what they receive. To stay happy, try to consciously do the opposite: slightly undervalue your own contributions and slightly overvalue what your partner does for you.

Gentlemen, if it works in business, it works in relationships. In the corporate world, vetting for an important role takes months—multiple interviews, assessments, and stakeholders. If one thing is off, the process stops. This is "Hiring Slow and Firing Fast." Here is how to apply this to your dating life to avoid emotional burnout and toxic situations: 🐢 1. Hire SLOW: The Art of Vetting Most people you meet will not be a good fit. Defaulting to rejection is statistically the safer bet. Don't Rush Intimacy: Avoid becoming emotionally involved before you’ve vetted her character. If you rush, you're relying on "sheer dumb luck" that she’s virtuous. The "Lollipop" Principle: You can always escalate contact, but you can’t de-escalate without drama. If you start with daily texting, she expects it forever. Start slow to give yourself an "escape route." Maintain Your Life: Even if you don't have something better to do, act like you do. A mature man has responsibilities and interests that come before a stranger. ⚡ 2. Fire FAST: Guard Your Peace The moment a red flag appears—toxic traits, disrespect, or aggression—you must stop investing emotionally. Don't Rationalize: Most men who end up in dysfunctional relationships saw the red flags early but ignored them because the woman was attractive or the physical connection was strong. Silo or Disengage: If she isn't relationship material, either walk away entirely or move her into a casual category while keeping a tight rein on your heart. 🛠️ 3. The Secret Weapon: Optionality How do you actually find the strength to fire fast? A large applicant pool. * Companies interview even when they don't have an opening to avoid desperation. Men must do the same. Optionality allows you to act with dignity. It ensures you never have to choose between being alone and being disrespected. Summary: Slow down the "hiring" process to protect your emotional needs, and be ruthless with the "firing" process when true colors show. What do you think? Have you ever "hired" too fast and regretted it later? Let’s discuss below! 👇

Every relationship is transactional. The real difference between a good relationship and a bad relationship is... In good relationships,the transaction is invisible.

What would you say is one of the hardest parts for you when it comes to finding love?