Catherine's Mother's Day Guide... what a wonderful GIFT!

Like most in our PACT family, I had my highs and lows over the Mother's Day weekend. For days prior I wondered which of our 7 combined adult children I'd hear from and who I wouldn't hear from. Purposely kept some windows of time available incase someone wanted to visit or invited me over. Thought about how I'd fill my time on Sunday. My sweet husband is the senior lead mechanic at a gas generated power plant nearby. He had to work this weekend, so I knew I'd have more time alone than usual.

Here's a glimpse of my weekend: Daughter, Ashley, and her family (hubby and 3 boys) completely welcomed me for a Friday overnight visit, at which my beloved niece and her husband also visited, driving back home to NH. My niece and I stayed at a comfy nearby motel, and stayed up late talking. After they left, I returned to my daughter's home on Saturday to play outside with my grandchildren, exchange gifts and have a delicious brunch. It was WONDERFUL, LOTS of hugs, laughs and cuddles!

Sunday's Mother's Day church service was a loving and respectful tribute to mothers and all women who nurture and support families. Two heartfelt talks by church leaders were given about the important role of motherhood. The primary children (ages 3-12) sang sweet songs, and the youth handed out small colorful bouquets of flowers to all women in the church. Afterwards, there was a special Sunday School class for women and the girls in our Young Women group (ages 13 to 18). It was an intimate discussion on the important roles of mothers and women in families, and the reminder that God walks with us during all our trials and successes, guiding us with scriptures, church leaders, in prayer and through Holy Spirit. A delicious treat of cake, fruit and muffins was provided. There were lots of hugs and supportive words by women of all ages.

With no other invitations to visit, I went home and SLEPT most the afternoon. I needed that rest. I received a lovely text message from the father of my estranged step-daughter's youngest son. I did not hear from her, although I sent her a Happy Mother's Day message (last I knew she Blocked all communication with me). I also got a nice text message from my step-son's wife, with an invitation to visit soon. This same step-son texted on Monday, sending his love and adding his invite for an upcoming visit. I must say I was VERY NERVOUS about not hearing from him. We have a very close relationship with long talks. It is his sister, my step-daughter, who ended our relationship in Nov last year, and I wondered what she may have told her brother. In their teens, they were definitely a united team, supporting each other in good or not so good with the "parents" :) Thankfully, time, experiences and life are shaping them into their own unique adults, which has shaped our relationships with them.

Of the rest of our combined children, we didn't hear from my 2 oldest step-sons. One in AZ and one in NYC. The death of their mother hit them very hard both at young ages (pre-teen and early teen years). While they both have been welcoming and kind to me, and have called me "Mom", for complicated reasons they are estranged from their father, which hurts him deeply.

My oldest step-daughter, Amy, died in a domestic violence incident in 2008. Her death has profoundly affected our entire family, in different ways. My daughter always wanted an older sister. Amy gladly accepted that role and was the "rock" for all her younger siblings. We were very close and she had invited me to come to TX after their baby was born to help her, but she miscarried, and the following year she was murdered. We all still grieve for her; knowing she would be fully involved in all of our lives, would not take any malarky from anyone, and loved us all unconditionally. She wouldn't have missed a wedding, anniversary, child's birth, graduation, birthday or holiday. Our family has the faith, in varying degrees, knowing we will be with her again someday.

As far as my son and his wife and 5 little boys, the eldest with Glioblastoma, brain cancer at age 12. I didn't hear anything from my son, which is the first time ever. As I've mentioned in other posts, his wife has completely blocked me out of their lives after their son was diagnosed, and her estranged mother came back into her life. I was discarded. My son invited me over occasionally for visits but she always left and gave him a hard time. So it took me 3 painful years of trying to make peace with them, but I have been completely cut off. Last year, I released my son from being in the middle between of his wife and me, trying to keep me present in his children's lives. I told him that he must focus completely on his wife and children during their crisis and healing afterwards. I assured him I love him and always will, that I'm just a phone call away if I can ever be of help to them. I now know he has taken me up on this advice, which I will respect. My greatest anguish is knowing my young grandchildren don't understand where Nana is, and why she doesn't come over anymore. I had a WONDERFUL relationship with them, but the youngest two don't even know who I am... Oh, my heart!

I was in a very low place when I found Catherine and this wonderful program. I know God led me to this exceptional group of professionals and the parents with their own struggles have made a huge difference in my life. I am getting stronger, by focusing on me first. My mindset is calmer and more focused on healthy relationship with family and friends who WANT me in their lives, instead of being discarded without explanation. This is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I have the best support I've every had too. My husband, loving family members and friends, and this wonderful program. Thank you Catherine and staff. Catherine Mother's Day Guide made a profound influence on me. I felt her deep love, care and commitment to all of us. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. And thank you for listening to my story :)

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