5d • General discussion
What Actually Happens On The Other Side — How Women Often React, What To Expect, And What To Become Conscious Of
I wish I knew this 10 years ago, to the level I've recently understood it..
Just reading or having this brought to the conscious mind is a big part of relenquishing or dissolving resistance.
Here are some realities we need to take into consideration.
One of the biggest sources of anxiety in social and dating environments is the illusion that you are walking into a moment where the other person is fully formed, fully confident, and fully judging you.
In reality, you are walking into another nervous system.
Another person who is also managing uncertainty, safety, mood, self-image, social conditioning, and internal dialogue.
When you approach someone, you are not entering a performance evaluation.
You are entering a shared uncertainty moment.
And most men have never been taught to see it that way.
They think: “She is evaluating me.”
More often, it is: “Something unexpected is happening, and my brain is deciding if this is safe, interesting, neutral, or not relevant.”
That is a huge difference.
The First Thing To Understand: You Are An Emotional Disruption
When you approach someone, you interrupt whatever state they were in.
Phone scrolling
Thinking about work
Talking to friends
Feeling bored
Feeling stressed
Feeling invisible
Feeling watched
Feeling confident
Feeling insecure
You don’t control what state you walked into.
This is why reactions vary so much.
Not because of your worth.
Because of timing + state + environment + her nervous system + past experiences.
If you understand this deeply, rejection stops feeling personal and starts feeling contextual.
Most Initial Reactions Are Nervous System Responses, Not Judgements About You
Some common initial reactions you might see:
Neutral confusion
Polite friendliness
Guarded politeness
Curiosity
Pleasant surprise
Mild shock
Closed-off response
Quick dismissal
Warm engagement
These are usually not “final decisions about you as a human.”
They are fast safety + relevance scans.
Is this safe?
Is this normal here?
Do I have energy for this?
Is this interesting?
Do I feel socially exposed right now?
This happens in seconds.
What You Become Conscious Of: State Over Script
Most men focus on words.
But people react more to:
Your nervous system state
Your pace
Your eye contact stability
Your emotional congruence
Your lack (or presence) of hidden agenda pressure
If you are internally saying: “I hope this works” “I need this to go well” “Please don’t reject me”
It leaks through tone, pacing, micro tension, and eye behavior.
Not because women are magical mind readers.
Because humans are extremely good at detecting pressure and uncertainty signals.
The Huge One: Pressure Feels Like Hidden Demand
When someone feels that you need something from them emotionally, socially, or validation-wise, their system often closes slightly.
Not consciously.
Not maliciously.
Just protection.
Pressure can look like:
Talking too fast
Over-explaining
Trying to impress
Trying to be funny too early
Not allowing silence
Fishing for reassurance
Trying to “lock in” interest too fast
Presence, by contrast, feels like:
You are okay whether this goes somewhere or not
You are not trying to extract something
You are curious, not consuming
This is extremely regulating for the other person.
Expect Inconsistency (And Why This Is Normal)
The same exact approach can get:
Great response from Person A
Neutral response from Person B
Cold response from Person C
On the same day.
Because humans are state-dependent, not logic-consistent.
If you internalize this, you stop chasing “perfect technique.”
What To Become Conscious Of Internally
Notice when you are:
Trying to secure outcome early
Trying to control how you are perceived
Trying to avoid awkwardness at all cost
Trying to be impressive instead of present
Trying to skip uncertainty
These are all mind-safety strategies.
And they are normal.
But they reduce emotional openness in the interaction.
The Paradox Most People Never Learn
The less you are trying to make something happen, the safer you feel to the other person.
Not passive.
Not disengaged.
Just non-gripping.
This is what people often describe as: “Easy to talk to” “Comfortable” “Natural” “Relaxed energy”
What To Expect If You Start Operating From Surrendered Action
At first:
More awkward moments
More unpredictable reactions
Less feeling of control
More raw feedback from reality
Then later:
More natural conversations
Less internal debate
Faster emotional recovery after rejection
More surprising positive interactions
Less obsession with individual outcomes
The Reality Most Courses Don’t Say
Some people will not like you.
Even if you are present.
Even if you are grounded.
Even if you are authentic.
And that is not failure.
That is normal human filtering.
The goal is not universal approval.
The goal is freedom from internal self-rejection.
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The Most Important Awareness Shift
You are not trying to “make her feel something.”
You are allowing something real to happen or not happen.
That removes performance pressure. And paradoxically, often increases connection probability.
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The Quiet Skill You’re Actually Building
Not confidence.
Not smoothness.
Not perfect social execution.
You are building:
Tolerance for uncertainty
Tolerance for awkwardness
Freedom from outcome identity
Ability to stay present under evaluation risk
Ability to act without internal permission loops
This is why this transfers into every area of life.
Joe
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What Actually Happens On The Other Side — How Women Often React, What To Expect, And What To Become Conscious Of
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