6d • General discussion
Understanding and being understood
These days I was talking to a friend about boundaries. You know, when we have to set boundaries, and how challenging it can be...
For many years I had the feeling that everytime I would set my boundaries, the other side was not actually understanding. And I though that I had a big problem with communication. Like it was obvious that I couldn't communicate properly!
I would say one time, second time... and so it goes until... I collapsed and frustration and anger comes out. And it is not pretty to experience.
And on the other side, it would be like "Ah, I had no idea that this bodered you so much...".
And in my mind I questioned, REALLY?
I think the experience that helped to understand all this dynamic was:
I lived in the city more that I should. And I know it because my body was collapsing. And every time I would communicate this with close friends they would try to support by finding different ways that I could experience that moment.
And so I though that the problem was me.
Now, I live in the mountains, away from the city, where the most amazing things that I feel good about are being surrounded by nature and the silence. And my body started to relax, and I started to come back to myself.
And my friends could see it clearly.
And the the answer came, they would try to help me according to their own experiences. And this was mind blowing!
Two things I realised, it is pretty difficult for us to be total neutral and give advice or support according to what the other person is sharing, and, if we don’t go inwards to really get to know ourselves we will continue to follow other people's vision on life and experiences, but not our own!
Does this makes sense to you?
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Understanding and being understood
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