Apr '25 (edited) • Stories of N.O.W. Connection
Reflections
Last night’s men’s group call was beautiful and it reminded me of something deep inside my heart. Sometimes I get so infatuated with being “better” that I forget to use the wisdom of what I come from. Being able to sit in a space where anger wasn’t judged or feared, but instead welcomed, witnessed, and understood. I feel an opening in me that I’ve kept guarded for most of my healing journey over the last few years because I fear my own anger and being unable to reel myself in whenever I let it out.
Shadow integration to me is ritual combat, I’m learning to open up and become more aware of the beauty in being me and all the complex, powerful, and sometimes painful facets of what it means to journey this realm as the masculine. I spoke briefly last night about growing up under the shadow of an abusive stepfather, I learned early how to survive. I carried pain that wasn’t mine to carry, shouldered blame that didn’t belong to me, and tried to make sense of a world that didn’t feel safe. My mother, my younger brother, and I endured things that no one should have to endure. That trauma planted the seeds of resentment and rebellion in me. It shaped how I moved through the world and how I saw myself.
Coming up in the south, my challenges didn’t end at home. I was often singled out in my neighborhood for the color of my skin being lighter than most around me. I felt too different to belong, yet too familiar to disappear. Add to that the weight of racism from
those much lighter than me and it was a lot for a young boy to hold. No trust in the masculinity around me to help me see through the darkness.
And without a healthy space for my anger to breathe, I turned it inward, or let it explode outward.
Last night reminded me that anger doesn’t have to be a prison, or a energy to try to hide and forget. It can be a doorway. A doorway to healing, to truth, to power. The love, safety, and presence I felt from every man on that call gave me permission to speak my truth without fear. That alone is healing.
I’m so deeply grateful for the N.O.W. Academy. It’s not just a space it’s a family. A family of brothers and sisters who see me, hold me, and walk this path with me. To be met with love instead of judgment, to be encouraged to show up as my full self, flaws and all that’s something I never thought I’d have when I began to get away from Sacredsons because I was not able to afford the events anymore while raising my family with my partner and being more financially responsible. But here I am and it’s such a blessing so thank you Kale and Uncle Song for making this possible.
Also thank you to all of you, my soul brothers and sisters, for being a part of my journey and witnesses to my healing. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in this. Thank you for last night, helping me reclaim my anger as a tool not a weapon, not a burden, but a gift. I’m learning to stand in my fire without burning myself down and allow the water of my tears to flow in balance to the flames.
So much gratitude for you all 🙏🏾💙
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Reflections
skool.com/now-academy
Formation and discipline training for young men 14–22
Structure, responsibility, standards, brotherhood, and readiness for real life. Built to endure.
Leaderboard (30-day)
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