THE EXPERIMENT THAT MESSED WITH MY RHYTHM
So last week I did an experiment with my coach in regards to posting content, which on the surface sounds really simple, but actually it wasn’t. The experiment was to not post content and instead focus on having more human connections with people. Now the human connection part was great, I really enjoyed that side of it, but the not posting content part felt a lot harder than I expected it to.
If I’m honest, it feels like it knocked me out of my flow a little bit. Before that, I was in a rhythm with my videos and the content I was putting out, I knew what I was doing, I felt aligned with it, and then suddenly that consistency shifted. Since then, everything has felt a bit more bitty, like I’m not quite grounded in the same way I was before.
JUGGLING LIFE, BUSINESS AND A BIG MOVE
At the same time, there’s a lot going on at home. I’m not just thinking about content and business, I’m also sorting through the house, selling things, and getting everything ready for the move to Bali. But it’s not just physical belongings, it’s also the legal side of things that need to be sorted before I leave, things with the house itself, homeschooling Lily, continuing to work, supporting my two adult daughters with their children, and still making time to actually be present with my adult kids and my grandchildren.
When I really sit and look at it, there’s a lot happening all at once. And over the last couple of days I’ve really started to feel the weight of that. It’s not even just the doing, it’s the mental load of holding it all at the same time.
OLD PATTERNS CREEPING BACK IN
What I’ve noticed is that I’ve slipped slightly back into old patterns. That habit of putting everything else before the things that are actually going to move me forward has started to creep back in. It’s subtle, but I can see it, and once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
That awareness is frustrating, but it’s also important, because it gives me the opportunity to do something different rather than just falling fully back into it.
CHOOSING A DIFFERENT WAY TO MOVE FORWARD
So now I’m looking at things with a different mindset. I need to move forward in a way that actually works for me, not against me. That means bringing in more balance, more integrity in how I’m spending my time, stronger boundaries around what I say yes to, and honestly, just protecting a bit of my sanity through all of this.
Because if I don’t, the next six to seven weeks are going to feel chaotic, and not in a good way.
WHEN CHAOS NO LONGER FITS WHO YOU ARE
The thing is, I used to thrive in chaos. That used to be my normal. But since coming back from Bali, something has shifted. The chaos has left my body, my mind, and my soul in a way that I didn’t fully expect.
So now, when things start to feel chaotic, it doesn’t feel energising anymore, it feels uncomfortable. And while that discomfort isn’t always easy, it’s actually a sign of growth. It shows me just how much I’ve progressed, because I’m no longer wired to survive in that state.
NAVIGATING THIS SEASON WITH AWARENESS
That doesn’t mean this part is easy though. Managing all of this while also living with multiple neurodiversities is a lot to hold. There are moments where it feels overwhelming, and moments where my brain wants to scatter in ten different directions at once.
But I also know that this is a season. It’s not forever. Things will settle, I will find my rhythm again, and there will be a flow that comes back into everything.
STAYING FOCUSED ON WHAT ACTUALLY MATTERS
Right now, my focus needs to be on the things that are going to move me forward, while still balancing everything else that’s going on around me. Decluttering mine and Lily’s belongings is not just a task, it’s a process, it’s a transition, and it comes with its own emotional layers too.
I know that once things start to fall into place and I find that balance again, my mind will feel calmer, less chaotic, and I’ll be able to focus in a much clearer way.
GROUNDING THROUGH THE CHAOS OF CHANGE
In the meantime, I’m leaning heavily into grounding techniques and strategies to keep myself steady. It’s about keeping myself anchored, staying connected to what I’m doing, and not losing sight of the bigger picture.
Because this isn’t just about getting to Bali.
It’s about building a life that actually works when we get there, one that supports both me and Lily in a way that feels aligned, sustainable, and real. 💗