10 DAYS TO GO — I WANT TO ENJOY THIS, BUT MY BRAIN KEEPS TRYING TO TAKE OVER

🔥

And today didn’t really go to plan.

See, thing is with my birthday… I had the thoughts that I was going to do quite a bit of work and just plod along, and that was all good.

AND THEN LIFE DID ITS THING.

I had phone calls with my two oldests wishing me a happy birthday, and I stepped away for a little bit. My mind was blown and I needed to just switch off.

Later I messaged one of the guys that was recommended to collect me from the airport and made the arrangements for that to happen, which was one thing ticked off my to do list which actually felt really good.

THAT FELT LIKE PROGRESS

Something was ticked off the list, which is progressively getting more urgent to get things done, and the nerves have started to kind of kick in a little bit more today.

I spoke to my second daughter about it, she pointed out that considering the challenges that I face with my multiple neurodiversities and anxiety, she is not surprised that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, afterall each one brings it’s own challenges but all together it’s the trump card, for all things stress-related.

BUT I’M TRYING NOT TO STRESS.

Because I want to enjoy this.

I want to enjoy the experience of the lead-up and the experience of doing a solo trip for the first time ever.

AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.

I had a chat with my friend this morning, who absolutely loved one of my presents, which was amazing, and my friend said to me that she has seen some little cute crochet things that she likes.

That kind of gave me a bit of a lightbulb moment, that I could probably take some yarn and my crochet needles, and while I’m waiting for my flight or on my flight or my transfer, whatever, I could just take my mind off things by doing a little bit of crocheting.

Nothing big.

Nothing major.

Just little things that would make a big difference and be really meaningful to people.

AND THIS IS WHY THAT MATTERS

Because that will help to kind of calm my mind when things are a bit chaotic.

Because let’s face it, doing something alone for the first time comes with so many different emotions and thoughts, and they can really start to take over if you don’t acknowledge them and allow them to actually be processed fully.

So yeah.

10 days to go.

It’s my birthday.

THE COUNTDOWN IS ON.

And I’m freaking excited.

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