8d • General discussion
How was your Valentine’s Day? 💌
Did you celebrate? 🌹
Or maybe… it felt a little heavier than you expected.
Tell me in a comments
What did you actually do on February 14th? how it was?
lets talk a bit about history of this holiday.
It traces back to Saint Valentine, a 3rd-century Christian martyr. According to later legends, he secretly married couples when it was forbidden under Roman rule ❤️🔥
Whether historically precise or not, one thing is clear:
Love was once framed as courage. 👏
Today it often feels like a public evaluation.😅
Who posted what? Who received flowers and gifts and who didnt? Who is “behind.”?
And that shift changes the psychological impact of the day.
What actually happens to people psychologically? 🧐
Research shows that around Valentine’s Day:
📊 40–50% of adults report increased feelings of loneliness (including people in relationships).
Here’s how it tends to look across February:
Reported Loneliness (approximate trend)
January baseline ████████ ~28%
Early February ███████████ ~35%
Feb 14–16 ████████████████ ~45–50%
Late February ██████████ ~32%
Why does this happen?
Valentine’s Day acts as an emotional magnifier 🔎
It activates attachment systems.
For people with anxious attachment:
— fear of not being chosen
— comparison
— “Why not me?”
For avoidant attachment:
— irritation
— distancing
— emotional shutdown
For secure attachment:
— the day feels pleasant or neutral
The holiday doesn’t create insecurity.
It exposes what’s already there.
Social comparison makes it worse 📱
Research on social media and depressive symptoms shows that upward comparison increases anxiety and lowers self-esteem.
Valentine’s Day = maximum romantic comparison:
— curated dinners
— engagement rings
— perfect captions
— public affection
Your nervous system reads this as evaluation.
And evaluation activates stress.
Loneliness is biological 🫶🏼
Loneliness increases cortisol.
It activates stress physiology.
It affects sleep and inflammation markers.
Which explains why some people feel:
— tight chest
— fatigue
— irritability
— overthinking
— restlessness
Around emotionally charged dates.
This is not weakness.
It’s nervous system activation.
And yet not everyone struggles
For some couples, shared rituals increase oxytocin and bonding.
The day itself is neutral.
It’s a mirror.
Loneliness is not the same as being single.
You can be in a relationship and feel unseen.
You can be single and feel regulated and peaceful.
The real variable is emotional connection.
First with yourself.
Then with someone else.
How did you actually feel on February 14th?
And if something was triggered
was it about not having someone?
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How was your Valentine’s Day? 💌
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