13d • General discussion
how boys and girls are raised into sexuality 👶🔥
Let’s talk about something most people never consciously unpack.
We don’t enter sexuality as blank pages. We are raised into it.
And the way boys and girls are socialized around emotions, bodies, and desire shapes intimacy for decades.
Not biologically first.
But psychologically.
What boys are often taught 🧱
Many boys grow up hearing subtle (and not so subtle) messages like:
— “Don’t cry.”
— “Be strong.”
— “Don’t be too emotional.”
— “You should always want sex.”
Emotional expression gets limited.
Vulnerability becomes risky.
Sexual desire becomes the only socially acceptable emotional outlet.
So sexuality becomes linked with:performancevalidationpowerrelease
But not necessarily with emotional intimacy.
Later in adulthood, this can show up as:
— difficulty communicating feelings
— confusion between desire and ego validation
— fear of emotional dependence
— sexual shutdown when intimacy becomes too real
Not because men “don’t care”.
But because many were never taught how to combine sexuality and vulnerability 🧠
What girls are often taught 🌸
Many girls grow up with a different script:
— “Be nice.”
— “Don’t be too loud.”
— “Protect yourself.”
— “Good girls aren’t too sexual.”
Desire gets policed.
Body awareness becomes mixed with shame.
Approval becomes connected to worth.
So sexuality becomes linked with:
being chosen
being attractive
being desirable
But not necessarily with personal pleasure.
In adulthood this can show up as:
— difficulty asking for what feels good
— over-accommodation in relationships
— confusing attention with intimacy
— suppressing desire to feel safe
Again — not because women are passive.
But because desire was often filtered through acceptability.
The collision in adult relationships 💥
Here’s where it gets interesting.
Many heterosexual relationships become a meeting point of two different wounds:
One partner struggles with vulnerability.
The other struggles with permission.
One learned to disconnect from feelings.
The other learned to disconnect from desire.
And both end up confused.
Communication breaks down.
Intimacy feels mismatched.
Sex becomes either tense, mechanical, or avoided.
Not because love is absent.
But because early conditioning is still running the system.
Awareness changes intimacy 🌱
When we understand how gendered socialization shaped us, something softens.
We stop blaming.We start recognizing patterns.
Sexual healing work often involves:
— reconnecting desire with safety
— reconnecting strength with vulnerability
— allowing communication without shame
When those pieces integrate, intimacy becomes more natural.Not perfect.But more conscious.
And that changes everything ✨
When you think about your upbringing, what were you implicitly taught about sexuality and emotion? let's discuss in the comments 🔥
6
1 comment
how boys and girls are raised into sexuality 👶🔥
powered by
skool.com/my-psychologist-2947
Have juicy sexual pleasure without pain, shame, or obligation 🍉💥
Suggested communities
Powered by