I've mentioned before that Nelly isn't a particularly tactile dog. He will usually only get on the bed with me if he's sick or if I'm sick. Experiencing a family bereavement this week has meant a lot of tears and Nelly has held space for me so well. He has been quietly choosing to come and sit next to me, which feels like such a privilege and incredibly comforting ❤️

I really feel like Nelly and I are on the same page this week. He keeps choosing to be near me which he usually would only do when he's sick. But he's fit and healthy, just enjoying cuddles with his mum who's working hard to keep her nervous system regulated. When you're calm, they are too 🥰

This was actually on Tuesday but I'm only getting around to writing today. I was looking after 2 other dogs and my dog Nelly. We all went out for an afternoon walk and the other 2 dogs were recalling perfectly and Nelly didn't seem to be listening at all. I was getting increasingly frustrated and ended up putting him back on the lead. I beat myself up afterwards for using a harsh tone with him. What I realised was: - The more frustrated I got the more dysregulated my nervous system became which affected my tone, body language and energy. - The more Nelly ignored me the more frustrated I got, which then made me feel guilty, a viscous cycle. - My system relaxed again when Nelly was back on the lead as I didn't have the fear of him running off - My nervous system was responding to old trauma - I've nearly lost Nelly when he ran away in Hanoi, he nearly died of leptospirosis and when he first came to England and ran off hearding sheep and I was worried the farmer would shoot him. Nelly is a noise sensitive dog, he always has been, which means my tone impacts him hugely. That's not to say other dogs don't pick up on it, but for Nelly a harsh tone = not safe, so no wonder he didn't want to come back to me. In the evening when I was meditating, Nelly chose to lay on the sofa with me. He stretched his leg out so his paw was touching my foot and left it there for the whole meditation. It brought tears to my eyes because I realised that when my nervous system is regulated, he does feel safe around me. The nervous systems job is to keep us alive and Nelly's responds to the perceived threat in my tone of voice by not coming back when I call him. He is saying no because he doesn't feel safe, and that is perfectly ok. Going forward, if I am feeling at all anxious or tense, I either need to keep Nelly on the lead that day, or do some grounding breathwork before a walk.

Do you ever have one of those days where you really feel like you've done the absolute best for your animal? Progress not perfection. That's what this space is for. Share your good animal days here (with pictures) so we can support each others wins. Walked your reactive dog without them barking? A good day Your rescue snuggled up to you for the first time? A good day Share those wins, no matter how big or small 🥳