Ballerina friends please can you shed some light on this… 🩰

🔥

People who are stuck up their own arses can do one.

Last night I went to this Christmas comedy cabaret.

You know… community spirit, Christmas spirit, humans being decent, having a laugh, being together, all the good stuff, right?

Me and my two friends rocked up about 20 minutes before the show. It’s a super laid-back venue with futons and sofas and random cosy seating. The place was buzzing, proper hive energy, everyone excited, the whole vibe was warm and happy and lovely.

We looked around for seats.

Couldn’t see any.

Apart from the entire front row… and half of the second row… completely empty except for one woman.

Just her.

Sitting there like the Queen of She-Bloody-Knows-What.

So we went to sit down and she looks at me and goes,

“Oh, I’m saving these.”

And I’m thinking…

Saving WHAT, hmmm?

A football team?

A school assembly?

The seven dwarfs and their pets?

She was saving TEN seats.

Ten.

For ten people.

Now here’s the thing — look, if it was me, yes, obvs I’ve saved seats for someone. I’m not a monster. One friend? Two friends? Three if I’m in a generous mood? Even four… fine. Normal. Human. But ten? In a packed venue? Nope. Absolutely not. If that was me, I’d have told my friends, “I’ll hold these until X time but you’d better get your arses here 20–30 mins early.” Basic manners. Basic community spirit. Basic not-being-an-arsehole.

So I’m like, okay… maybe she’s in the show, maybe she’s reserved them through the venue, maybe she’s secretly Beyoncé.

I don’t know. So we wander around again, but nope. No seats anywhere. Not one. People everywhere. Nowhere to sit. We’d paid for tickets, booked in advance, and we’re stood there like lemons.

So we spoke to the staff like,

“Hi…can you please help, bought the tickets, can definitely stand if we must but would prefer not to be a human coat hanger tonight.” 😝

They were lovely, tried to help, said they’d find chairs.

But before that, I’m still side-eyeing this seat-saving lady like…

Is she SOMEBODY?

Does she own the building?

Am I missing a memo?

So I asked one of the cast who I know .

“Is she in the show?”

They looked at me like I’d asked if geckos can use mobile phones.

“No. I’ve never seen her.”

Right.

Okay.

Let’s get to the bottom of this.

So I go over, politely, might I add, because I was raised well, and say,

“Excuse me, are you part of the show?”

She goes, “No.”

I say, “Oh, is it possible we sit here then?”

“No, I’m saving these.”

Right. Great.

So I point to the second row.

“Can we sit there?”

She goes, “No, I’m saving those too.”

At this point I’m like…

Is she the guardian of the chairs?

Are these chairs waiting for divine ascension?

What the fuck is happening?

So I try again, because logic still exists in my world apparently.

I say,

“If you came to watch the show, and I was saving all these seats and you had nowhere to sit… would you not… want a seat?”

And she looks me dead in the eye, full confidence, and says:

“I am a professional ballerina.”

I literally felt my soul leave my body for a moment.

I don’t know what expression I made, but internally I did a full-blown eye-roll mixed with the energy of every British woman who’s had enough for one lifetime.

I said, “I was a ballerina too.

I don’t get it.” Trying to convo… nada

So I walked away before my face betrayed me.

And honestly, another layer to the madness, her ‘friends’ turned up maybe three minutes after the show started. THREE minutes.

Not early. Not on time. Not even “close enough to justify saving ten seats.” I mean… I would’ve been mortified doing what she did, but she sat there like the Duchess of Reserved Seating, completely unfazed. I was embarrassed for her. Truly.

Anyway.

We got seats in the end, rogue chairs pulled out from somewhere.

Show was great.

My blood pressure eventually settled.

But seriously…

If someone can decode this ballerina-chair-hoarding behaviour for me, I’m all ears.

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