May 14th Circle · Men of Standard

Josh De Jong

2d • General discussion

May 14th Circle

Men of Standard,

What an incredible way to start the day. Thank you for showing up with open minds and open hearts!

Reflecting on this morning’s first Men of Standard circle.

8 men showed up at 7am to sit together, reflect, and have real conversation. That alone says something.

One thing I left thinking about was how uncommon it is for men to openly acknowledge what they are proud of.

We opened the circle by sharing something we’ve done recently that we are genuinely proud of, and I challenged the men to speak it clearly and firmly. Not arrogantly. Not apologetically. Just honestly.

It struck me how many men carry responsibility quietly. We work, provide, support others, handle pressure, solve problems, and keep moving, often without ever pausing to recognize ourselves for it.

There was something powerful about hearing men own their efforts out loud.

We also spent time talking about responsibility in relationships.

One brother reflected on stepping more fully into responsibility. Another spoke about responsibility that had been volunteered onto him. I shared that I’ve recognized myself retracting responsibility in some family relationships.

That conversation opened up a bigger reflection around standards.

What standards do we hold for ourselves? What standards do we hold for others? When are we leading well? When are we controlling? When are our expectations rooted in love, and when are they rooted in fear, resentment, or projection?

A few thoughts I’ve continued sitting with since the circle:

• Not every unmet expectation is disrespect. Sometimes it’s lack of communication or capacity.

• Holding standards and controlling people are not the same thing.

• It’s important to ask: “Am I modeling the standard I expect from others?”

• Some people lack character. Others simply lack capacity, awareness, or tools.

• We shouldn’t lower standards to avoid discomfort. But we also shouldn’t weaponize standards to make ourselves feel superior.

I left this morning feeling grateful.

Grateful for the honesty in the circle. Grateful for the willingness of men to show up early and be present. Grateful that this kind of space still matters.

For the men who attended, thank you for helping set the tone.

For the men who couldn’t make it, we’ll do it again in two weeks!

As I mentioned, I'm open to any and all feedback. Constructive criticism is my favorite!

This circle is OURS - it's ever shifting and changing. Reach out with any recommendations, ideas, desires to lead - anything!

AHO!

7 comments