6h (edited) • Notes 📝
What is Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence, often abbreviated as EQ or EI
It's the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
It’s not about being "nice" all the time, but rather about being smart with your feelings.
The Four Components of Emotional Intelligence
1. Self-Awareness
2. Self-Management (or Self-Regulation)
3. Social Awareness (Empathy)
4. Relationship Management
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Self-awareness
the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions as they happen
you know what you are feeling and why
you understand the link between your feelings and your actions
You have a good sense of your own strengths and weaknesses.
Example
While I'm studying, my roommate keeps slamming doors. I notice the thought, 'I'm feeling really distracted and annoyed right now.' By recognizing that feeling, I can choose a constructive response—like putting on headphones or politely asking for quiet—instead of just yelling at them.
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Self-Management (or Self-Regulation)
This is the ability to control your impulsive feelings and behaviors and adapt to changing circumstances. It's about thinking before acting.
You don't let temporary emotions rule you
You think before you act.
You're comfortable with ambiguity and change.
You take responsibility for your actions.
Example:
You're in a meeting and someone cuts you off. Instead of getting angry, you smile and say, "Just one more second." You've stayed calm and in control.
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Social Awareness (Empathy)
It's about picking up on emotional cues and feeling comfortable in someone else's shoes.
You are attentive to emotional signals and listen well.
You can see things from another person's perspective.
You show sensitivity and understand the unspoken dynamics in a group.
Example
You notice a usually talkative coworker is quiet and withdrawn. Instead of ignoring it, you might ask, "Is everything okay? You seem a bit quiet today." You're picking up on their emotional state.
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Relationship Management
it's conclusion of all three.
the ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, and manage conflict.
You are a good communicator, both a speaker and a listener
You're great at teamwork.
You can handle difficult situations and people with tact and diplomacy.
You're able to build rapport and inspire others.
Example
A colleague misses a deadline and looks stressed. Instead of getting angry, a high EQ person asks, "You seem overwhelmed. Is everything okay? How can I help you get back on track
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In Short
Emotional Intelligence = Understand yourself → Control yourself → Understand others → Manage relationships
All four pillars support each other. If one is missing, emotional intelligence becomes weak.
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What is Emotional Intelligence
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