“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.” I turned 23 today. Here are 23 lessons I learned to live by: 1. God is Good. 2. The Good is The Way, The Truth and The Life. 3. Be a force for good. 4. Know my heart by the fruits I produce. 5. To whom much is given, much is expected. 6. Push the heaviest boulder up the steepest hill. 7. Don’t take myself too seriously. 8. Be. Don’t stress myself too much on what I don’t have. 9. Travel and adventure. 10. Knock and the door WILL open, seek and I WILL find. 11. Honour my parents so that my days are long. 12. My dad is the only man who wants me to do better than him. 13. My mum is the only woman who loves me unconditionally. 14. Love is just the choice of patience and kindness. 15. Love is not envious or boastful, or arrogant, or rude. 16. Never shy away from giving an encouraging word. 17. Never shy away from expressing gratitude. 18. Giving is better than receiving. 19. I need a family, I need friends, I need an intimate partner, I need to be part of a wider community, I need a career, I need to educate myself, I need to push myself mentally and physically, I need to use my time outside of work meaningfully. 20. My life is my average Tuesday. 21. I need a life so rich in meaning that it justifies it’s suffering 22. Live life so at the end of it, you can say “that was so hard… but it was worth it.” 23. A golden heart that’s still remembered is worth more than a crown.

I’ve spent a lot of time imagining what I’ll do once everything lines up, once the timing’s right, once I feel ready, once the pieces are in place. It’s not even that I believe success should be easy. Just that, somehow, I’ve always expected it to feel easy when it’s time. Like I’ll know. Like I’ll slide right into it without resistance. But that day never comes. Not really. There’s a part of me that only wants to move when things are smooth and light and exciting. As soon as effort or uncertainty shows up, I feel myself pulling away. I try for a bit, just enough to say I tried. Then I quit. I reframe. I tell myself that wasn’t the right path anyway. It’s not that I don’t want things. I do. But the moment they start to cost something - time, pride, focus - they stop feeling like a dream and start feeling like a burden. And that’s when I start rationalising my way out. Sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it. I’ll blame my circumstances, the people around me, the structure of the world. Sometimes the excuses can even sound logical, like I’m just waiting for a better opportunity or trying to do things “the right way.” But underneath all of it is just fear. I don’t want to commit to something unless I know it’ll work and I want proof before I begin. I can't put a part of myself at risk without some kind of guaranteed reward. So instead I cycle through plans. I talk about them. I make notes. I fantasise about the moment when everything clicks, usually in some dramatic way, like being thrown into a situation where I have to act. Where it’s sink or swim. Where failure would at least be honest. Imagining how well I would do in a world that forces my hand, like a zombie apocalypse, because then I wouldn’t have to choose - then I wouldn’t have to feel like I was the one stopping me this whole time. There’s a part of me that finds comfort in that idea, the fantasy of being forced to rise to the occasion, because if I die, at least I die trying, and if I win, I prove something to myself. But real life doesn’t work like that. No one’s coming to force my hand.

I’ve never been through anything like this before. With most girls, it was either full energy on both sides or nothing at all , no halfway, no confusion, just a clear signal to stop or go. But recently, I crossed paths with a girl who presented herself like something rare — like she was built for forever. She wore the mask of a wife in a white dress, and I’ll admit… it made me lower my guard. I believed what she showed me during that golden honeymoon phase, thinking maybe this time, it was real. But the shift came fast. The warmth turned distant, the clarity turned foggy and what once felt special turned into a silent lesson: Never hand over your heart before the foundation is tested. In today’s world, emotional maturity is rare. So many people are still bleeding from old wounds, and instead of healing, they turn the next person into their battleground for their revenge. So here’s what I learned: Be careful who you crown as “different.” Don’t confuse intensity with intention. And never ignore red flags just because the dress is white. Believe me she's is not "The One" mate you deserve much better.

Most of us want to change something about ourselves. Maybe we want to be more confident, more focused, more creative, more fit — or just different. We imagine this future version of ourselves and think, “Yes. That’s who I want to be.” But no matter how clear that picture is, we often stay stuck exactly where we are. Why? It’s not just because we lack motivation or discipline. A big reason we don’t change is because everything around us is designed to keep us the same. Our daily routine, our job (or lack of one), our friends, the places we go, the conversations we have, even our wake-up time and eating habits — all of them form a kind of invisible structure. And that structure is built for the current version of us, not the one we want to become. I know this personally. I’ve spent a long time wishing that one day I’ll just wake up and suddenly be the kind of person who makes music regularly, shoots videos, earns enough money to travel, writes a book, writes a screenplay, becomes good at drawing — the whole dream list. But deep down, I also know this: if I don’t make meaningful changes to the environment around me, all the things that stop me now will keep stopping me forever. Let’s start with work. Your job affects more than your bank balance. It decides your schedule, your energy levels, your self-worth. If you spend your day bored or burned out, it’s no surprise you don’t come home buzzing with creativity. It’s incredibly hard to become passionate and focused when you’re already exhausted. For me, the problem is the opposite — I don’t have a job right now. I’m terrified of rejection (see my previous post for that one), so I keep putting it off until it becomes absolutely unavoidable and a lot more stressful than it needs to be. There are hundreds of thousands of things I could do about it. Do I do any of them? Nope. And then there are friends. People tend to see you as the version of yourself they first met. So when you start to change — maybe you want to drink less, speak up more, try new things — your friends might laugh it off, change the subject, or just look confused.

I had a discussion with a good friend of mine a few weeks ago. Relating to the general attitude of us younger people: The need to appear nonchalant and unassuming, and how this impedes genuine connection. It is not uncommon to walk into a room where every person is staring at their phone with their headphones in. This instigates the following reaction: Me, pulling out my phone, cycling through instagram, calculator and the weather app just to look like I am busy and this is why I am not speaking to anyone, and definitely not because being the first to make an effort to socialise is voluntarily putting yourself in a vulnerable position. My friend asked me why I talk to so many people at the gym and my answer was that I no longer want to contribute to the problem of antisocial-ness. An inflated sense of self-importance and need to keep up appearances is the fastest route to isolation: It paralyses you from acting, making you incapable of biting the bullet and opening up a social interaction, because that makes you vulnerable to the very real risk of judgement. A quick distinction: Walking in the gym with your headphones in and hoodie up because you want a peaceful, undisturbed workout is fair game, however making the same entrance for appearance sake is quite frankly ridiculous. So unless I want some solitude, I will say hello to the regular faces because nobody in their right mind will respond negatively to positivity. This lead to another question from my friend: What to do if they don't respond positively to your first interaction? It is simple, their reaction is out of your control and so is almost unimportant. The only focus is to spread positivity, to break the ice but from my very brief experience doing this, the responses are almost always positive, and if one day they aren't, or you are ignored - who cares? Just go again tomorrow. Trying to appear nonchalant and important is quite frankly ridiculous and we should all stop doing it. None of us have it together, we are all ignorant, stupid and ludicrous in our own unique ways and should embrace this fact. This is wishful thinking, but what we CAN do, is stop contributing to the problem.