Feeling deflated · Inner Essence Essentials

Feeling deflated

I get lost sometimes in life feeling like I don't need anybody, stay alone, keep walls up, better off alone. Usually that's backed up with some victumhood anger. Feeling sorry for myself is a poisin I keep drinking, it's very familiar and I can get great milage out of it.

Even choosing to buy a house, I search for houses without a neighbour close by, I want distance and separation. When I get what I want if being totally alone I get upset and wonder why nobody cars, more victumhood drama story in my head.

Finding a men's community I'm feeling conflicted, I'm showing up for myself and hoping others do too... but they dont... not too the level I want. Navigating the current frustrations I have is exhausting. I'm either all in or out. Which is another theme in my life of all or nothing. Swinging me back into I'm better off alone, swinging back into isolation and victumhood.

A man can do a lot of work on his own but there is also strength in numbers.

Feeling deflated trying to put best foot forward for myself and it's not meeting my expectations.

Guilty of building a lovely sandcastle and knock it down because I'm not in control of my anger.

Suppress vs express.

Ramble over

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