2017 was by far the hardest year of my life. The story is long and terrible but I will summarize by saying 2017 was the year I met schizophrenia. My mom wasn't schizophrenic. She was hurting. She became schizophrenic. More and more, she began to believe the lies of the enemy, especially those thoughts placed in her mind by the ones she loved most. (Proverbs 23:7a For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:...) For the next 8 years, I fought spiritual battles and addiction. I found myself alone with her, separated from our family who had helped her end up in this condition simply through gossip and the doors of hell it opens. She was living in a small efficiency and i would visit her before and after work. This would be the times she hurt me the worst but I had armor I didn't know of. Finally the end of this came and I could no longer sustain and knew it was time to throw in the towel, knowing I was hurting myself again. Sitting in my shack, I discovered You. I knew You. I knew You were with me. I had just never before this point felt You within me. This was the point I saw no hope, no way to go forward, no way to help my mom, and no way to get the help I needed. I felt You. In this moment, I felt a light. I felt a glimpse of hope that said there is never a point I Am not with you. A moment that showed me, You would always be there. I hold this moment so dear. It has shaped every day of my life since then. I finally began to believe and understand that You are my God and I can trust You, seek You, and You would ANSWER!

I can only share a little at a time. It has been a lot. I just pray that someone, somewhere sees these posts and is encouraged or at least knows they are not alone. Lord, I pray that these testimonies reach exactly who they are intended for.

For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word. https://youtu.be/OE4X1avLT3E?si=V9GRaaikGoig4v5o

Father God, thank You for another day in Your courts where I get the privilege of communing with You in each step of my day. I am grateful for Your continual guidance that says this is the way, walk in it. Thank You for Your peace and presence. Bless Your Holy Name

But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.