⛈️ Three somewhat “normal” habits that actually create anxiety + what to do today

I’m reading The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté and his son Daniel Maté and I had to reread this part twice. They talk about “social character” — basically the personality a culture trains into us so we fit in and get rewarded.

👉 They name 3 traits that can look “normal” but are actually a blueprint for distress:

Separation from self (you don’t feel what you feel / need what you need)
Consumption hunger (you chase “more” to soothe emptiness)
Hypnotic passivity (you go numb and stay compliant)

I had many times when I'd catch myself in all three, so I wrote tiny “cures” that help me come back to me:

🌱 Separation from self: hand on chest → “What am I feeling? What do I need?” then one micro-act of respect (water, pause, cancel one non-essential thing, phone on airplane mode, etc.)

🌱Consumption hunger: before you scroll/buy/compare → “What feeling am I trying to mute?” then 5 deep breaths + step outside or text someone. (Our nervous system needs contact, not upgrades.)

🌱Hypnotic passivity: break the trance in 10 minutes → send the message / write 3 lines / book the thing / walk 5 minutes. Proof you’re in control breaks the spell.

And yeah… it made me think: a lot of what we call “my personality” is actually conditioning + coping.

I'm curious, which of the 3 is currently closest for you right now — 1, 2, or 3?

3 comments