Loving the free time (for abuse survivors)

It’s taken me a minute - ok like months lol but I am finally starting to accept that yes, I am free to make my choices every day for myself and no one is going to shame me, blame me, abuse me or bully me for it.

I don’t think I realized how much of me was still waiting for the “other shoe” to drop since I became free of my abusers this year. I mean it’s one thing to say “ok at 41 I am finally choosing myself” and then to finally - I mean completely grasp the truth of the statement.

In part being in the government run facilities for abused women and kids did not help. It oddly just makes things worse in ways that only make you want to hide more. So maybe I had to leave there to reach this level of awareness. But it hit me today that no one is coming for me. They really aren’t.

If you haven’t been subjected to decades of daily/weekly systematic abuse you may not relate to this post. But for me this - this is huge. And to think how many people never get to this point. It breaks my heart.

If you’re a domestic abuse/childhood abuse survivor I only have one solid advice for you. Just don’t quit. I started my self love journey in 2012 - it had a lot of set backs, and I am definitely not finished, but the only thing I did consistently the entire time was i never quit. I had months at a time where I coasted, barely living, but eventually I always got sick of myself and tried again. And again. And again.

And seriously that is all I know for sure that works. Never quitting. So even in your darkest days please remember it only requires a tiny, small amount of will to just keep going. That is all you need. The desire to not quit completely. The rest will find a way. I tell you this from experience.

I should be a statistic. Targeted by a pedophile at 2yrs, placed into a kiddy porn ring, sexually and physically abused my entire childhood and adulthood (yes I literally sought relationships that harmed me as it was my normal). First time I tried to kill myself I was only 8. The worst part is, my life isn’t unique.

The worst part is how many people have similar stories or worse. This is why we can’t quit.

The world needs a change and for those of us just willing to not quit - we will help show people it’s possible to break the old system and live in a way that inspires personal growth and happiness as well as connections.

Through people learning to love themselves, connect to their higher selves and gain the awareness needed to integrate their egos, heal and feel, and build relationships from a place sincerity versus greed and gain, we will be able to create communities that offer environments for people to change their lives and thus the environment/society we live in. To once again live in harmony with Mother Earth and flow with the natural tides of life’s patterns. This needs to happen again.

And if people are unaware of the three days of darkness and how the earths core has been slowing down and will eventually come to a stop before changing direction (bringing the core back to its original energy frequency) all I can say is what I have been shown by Mother and what my guides have shown me, tells me it’s essential people begin to learn how to read the land from aboriginal peoples and begin to create sustainable communities that work with Mother.

It will be an interesting time to live in about 15-20 years 💯😏😁👌 I am excited to see what happens.

Btw I am beginning to make videos again so check out my YouTube or Instagram or TikTok. I may not stick to TikTok though. Depends 🤷🏻‍♀️😏😂

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