6d • Self Help
✨ What's the difference between people pleasing and kindness?
At first glance, they can look similar.
Both involve giving, caring, and considering others.
But the inner source is completely different.
🌿 People-Pleasing (Psychological Perspective)
People-pleasing is driven by fear.
Fear of:
- rejection
- conflict
- being disliked
- abandonment
- being “too much” or “not enough”
It comes from a nervous system that learned:
“I stay safe by keeping others happy.”
When you people-please:
- you override your own needs
- you suppress your truth
- you say yes when your body says no
- you seek external validation
- you feel anxious or resentful afterward
People-pleasing disconnects you from yourself.
It’s not generosity — it’s self-abandonment.
🌌 Kindness (Spiritual Perspective)
Kindness is rooted in wholeness.
It comes from:
- inner safety
- self-connection
- self-respect
- emotional regulation
When you’re kind:
- you don’t lose yourself
- you don’t need approval
- you can say no without guilt
- your giving feels clean and nourishing
- your energy remains intact
Kindness flows from fullness, not fear.
It’s an expression of love — not a strategy for safety.
💛 How to tell the difference in the moment
Ask yourself:
- Am I doing this to be liked or to be true?
- Does this expand me or drain me?
- Would I still do this if no one praised me?
- Can I say no without my body panicking?
Your body always knows.
Tight chest, shallow breath, urgency = people-pleasing.
Open chest, grounded breath, calm clarity = kindness.
✨ The deeper truth
Kindness includes yourself.
People-pleasing excludes you.
Kindness honours boundaries.
People-pleasing avoids them.
Kindness builds connection.
People-pleasing builds resentment.
You don’t need to become less kind to stop people-pleasing.
You need to become more connected to yourself.
And when kindness comes from that place,
it heals - you and everyone around you.
1
10 comments
✨ What's the difference between people pleasing and kindness?
powered by
skool.com/happynest-create-your-reality-5213
Creating your HappyNest: inspiration, alignment, aliveness. Here to support your spiritual expansion and conscious creation.
Suggested communities
Powered by