1d • The Boardroom
CHAPTER 8… INFLUENCE WITH INTEGRITY
MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE… A New Effective You.
by Dr. Dave Siefkes.
Influence is often misunderstood. Some people see it as persuasion. Some confuse it with pressure. Others think it is about clever tactics, verbal maneuvers, or psychological tricks. True influence is none of these. Influence, at its highest level, is the ability to guide decisions in a way that respects the person, supports their goals, and aligns with their identity. It is leadership, not manipulation.
Influence with integrity begins with a simple mindset.
Your goal is not to get people to say yes. Your goal is to help people make the right decision for themselves.
When this becomes your guiding principle, everything changes. Your communication changes. Your tone changes. Your presence changes. People feel the difference. They feel respected, not pushed. Supported, not cornered. Understood, not managed.
People can sense intent. They may not articulate it, but they feel it. They know when someone is trying to win the moment instead of trying to help them win their future. Influence with integrity removes pressure from the conversation. It removes fear. It removes defensiveness. It creates an environment where the emotional brain feels safe enough to engage and the logical brain feels clear enough to support the decision.
This is why effective influencers do not chase the close. They guide the path. They build trust. They create clarity. They reduce risk. They align identity. They awaken desire. They activate hope. This is influence with integrity… helping someone step confidently into the decision they already want to make.
To do this well, you must master four principles.
1. Influence Begins With Understanding
You cannot influence a decision you do not understand. You must first understand the person. Their fears. Their motivations. Their identity. Their desired future. Their emotional triggers. Their concerns. Their story.
Trying to influence someone without understanding them is disrespectful. It treats them like an object rather than a human being. When you take the time to understand them, the emotional brain relaxes. The guard drops. Trust builds. The conversation becomes collaborative, not competitive.
2. Influence Requires Transparency
People respond positively to clarity. They respond negatively to hidden motives. When your intent is clear, trust grows. When your process is clear, resistance falls away. When your suggestions are clear, decisions become easier.
Transparency does not weaken your influence. It strengthens it.
People fear what is unclear. They follow what is understood.
3. Influence Is the Removal of Fear, Not the Application of Pressure
Pressure creates resistance. Fear tightens the emotional brakes. Your role is not to push harder. Your role is to remove the friction. You remove fear by creating clarity. By answering concerns. By discussing risks honestly. By making the path predictable. By showing the person that the decision aligns with their identity.
When you reduce fear, movement becomes natural.
When you add pressure, movement becomes forced.
Forced decisions rarely last. Guided decisions do.
4. Influence Honors the Person’s Autonomy
People must feel in control of their own decisions. If they feel controlled, they resist. If they feel manipulated, they pull away. If they feel guided, supported, and respected, they move forward confidently.
Autonomy is essential because the emotional brain needs to feel safe. When a person feels ownership over the decision, their identity aligns with it. This is how follow-through happens. This is how long-term relationships are built. This is how your influence becomes sustainable instead of temporary.
Influence with integrity is not weak. It is strong. It is not passive. It is powerful. It is not soft. It is strategic. Anyone can pressure someone into a temporary yes. But only someone with true influence can guide a person into a lasting one.
You are not trying to win the moment. You are trying to win the relationship. You are not trying to control the decision. You are trying to illuminate it. You are not trying to override their emotions. You are helping them harness those emotions with clarity and purpose.
In the next chapter, we begin the Engineering process itself. You will learn the blueprint behind how to guide someone from interest to clarity… from clarity to confidence… and from confidence to action. This is where your influence becomes precise. This is where decisions become predictable. This is where your communication takes on a new level of power.
But it all begins with integrity. Without it, influence is manipulation. With it, influence is leadership.
©️Copyright 2025 Dr. Dave Siefkes
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CHAPTER 8… INFLUENCE WITH INTEGRITY
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