MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE… A New Effective You. by Dr. Dave Siefkes. Influence is often misunderstood. Some people see it as persuasion. Some confuse it with pressure. Others think it is about clever tactics, verbal maneuvers, or psychological tricks. True influence is none of these. Influence, at its highest level, is the ability to guide decisions in a way that respects the person, supports their goals, and aligns with their identity. It is leadership, not manipulation. Influence with integrity begins with a simple mindset. Your goal is not to get people to say yes. Your goal is to help people make the right decision for themselves. When this becomes your guiding principle, everything changes. Your communication changes. Your tone changes. Your presence changes. People feel the difference. They feel respected, not pushed. Supported, not cornered. Understood, not managed. People can sense intent. They may not articulate it, but they feel it. They know when someone is trying to win the moment instead of trying to help them win their future. Influence with integrity removes pressure from the conversation. It removes fear. It removes defensiveness. It creates an environment where the emotional brain feels safe enough to engage and the logical brain feels clear enough to support the decision. This is why effective influencers do not chase the close. They guide the path. They build trust. They create clarity. They reduce risk. They align identity. They awaken desire. They activate hope. This is influence with integrity… helping someone step confidently into the decision they already want to make. To do this well, you must master four principles. 1. Influence Begins With Understanding You cannot influence a decision you do not understand. You must first understand the person. Their fears. Their motivations. Their identity. Their desired future. Their emotional triggers. Their concerns. Their story. Trying to influence someone without understanding them is disrespectful. It treats them like an object rather than a human being. When you take the time to understand them, the emotional brain relaxes. The guard drops. Trust builds. The conversation becomes collaborative, not competitive.

There is something I have learned through decades of leading teams, building businesses, guiding people through major decisions, and helping them move toward the lives they want. Most people are not limited by their talent. They are limited by their decisions. And not because they make wrong ones, but because they never learned how decisions actually work. We grow up believing that people choose based on logic. They don’t. People choose based on emotion, identity, trust, clarity, and momentum. Once you understand these forces, every part of your life becomes easier. Your communication improves. Your leadership improves. Your relationships strengthen. Your ability to close and influence increases. Most of all, you become more effective in the way you guide yourself. I decided to write this book because I want you to have that advantage. I want you to understand the architecture behind every decision you make, every decision others make, and every moment where the right choice can change the direction of your life. When you understand how decisions are made, you stop reacting and start leading. You stop hesitating and start moving. You stop waiting and start designing your future. This book is not about high-pressure sales or persuasion tricks. It is about clarity. Confidence. Identity. Emotional intelligence. It is about becoming the kind of person who communicates with intention, who influences with integrity, and who moves through life with momentum instead of fear. And because you are part of my SKOOL community, you are getting an exclusive… the very first look at it. Over the next few weeks I will be downloading every chapter, sharing insights, and giving you early access to the mindset, the structure, and the tools behind this book. I wrote this for people who want to lead their lives more intentionally. For people who want to become the New Effective You. And I wrote it knowing that many of you are ready for that shift. I’m excited to share this journey with you. You’ll see the book come to life here first.

MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE… A New Effective You. by Dr. Dave Siefkes. If you want to understand how people make decisions at the deepest level, you must understand identity. Identity is the story a person tells themselves about who they are. It is the internal image they carry. It shapes what they believe is possible, what they believe they deserve, what they believe they can accomplish, and what they believe they should avoid. Identity is powerful because the brain is always trying to stay consistent with it. People make decisions that match their identity. They reject decisions that challenge it. They choose the path that aligns with who they believe they are, even if the path limits them. A person who believes they are cautious will avoid opportunities that require bold action. A person who believes they are unlucky will dismiss good fortune when it arrives. A person who believes they are “not the type” for success will sabotage their own progress. A person who believes they are resourceful will find solutions others miss. A person who believes they are capable will take steps that intimidate everyone else. Identity decisions are not logical. They are not conscious. They are emotional and automatic. This is why someone can want a result badly and still hesitate. Their identity has not yet expanded to include the version of themselves who takes that step. Here is the truth most people never see. People do not fear the decision. They fear becoming someone different. Every choice carries a shift in identity. That shift can feel exciting or frightening. People say yes when the new identity feels empowering. They say no when the new identity feels too far from who they believe they are. You see this everywhere. An individual who has always struggled financially may hesitate to accept an opportunity that could elevate them. It is not the opportunity they fear. It is the unfamiliar version of themselves who succeeds. A person who has always been quiet may hesitate to speak up. It is not the words they fear. It is the identity shift that comes with being heard.

MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE… A New Effective You. by Dr. Dave Siefkes. Every decision begins with emotion. You learned that in earlier chapters. But now we go deeper. There are specific emotional states that create movement. When these states are present, people lean in. They ask better questions. They picture themselves taking action. They imagine the benefits. They see themselves succeeding. Momentum starts. When these emotional states are missing, everything slows down. Logic has no power. Facts sit unused. Opportunities are ignored. Momentum stalls. To guide decisions ethically and effectively, you must understand the emotional triggers that activate desire and reduce resistance. There are five emotional triggers that matter more than any others. When these five show up, people move forward. When they are absent, people freeze. Let’s break them down. 1. Certainty People move when they feel sure. Certainty is not the same as logic. Certainty is emotional confidence. It is the feeling that the path ahead is solid. Certainty answers the internal question: “Do I believe this will work for me?” Certainty can come from: - Your confidence - Your clarity - A simple explanation - A relatable example - Predictability in the next steps - A trusted relationship When someone feels uncertain, they hesitate. When they feel certain, they take action. Certainty is one of the most powerful emotional triggers because the brain equates certainty with safety. 2. Trust Trust is the emotional foundation of every yes. People do not move forward with people they do not trust. Trust is built through communication, consistency, understanding, tone, presence, and honesty. Trust answers the internal question: “Do I believe you are guiding me, not pushing me?” There are three dimensions of trust: - Trust in you - Trust in themselves - Trust in the process All three matter. Trust in you opens the door. Trust in themselves lets them walk through it. Trust in the process makes them comfortable continuing.

MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE. A New Effective You. by Dr. Dave Siefkes. Every decision a person makes is shaped by two invisible forces. The desire to gain something and the fear of losing something. One pulls them forward. One holds them back. And fear is almost always stronger. If you want to understand why people hesitate, why they avoid decisions, why they delay action, and why they talk themselves out of opportunities they clearly want, you must understand these two forces. They drive everything. People wrongly assume they are choosing between Option A and Option B. They aren’t. They are choosing between gain and loss. The emotional brain evaluates both. The logical brain just tells the story afterward. When a person considers a decision, three kinds of fear appear instantly. 1. Fear of Loss This is the strongest motivator in the human brain. People will work harder to avoid losing something than they will to gain something. The emotional brain is wired this way. Loss can mean money, time, safety, comfort, control, familiarity, or certainty. If an option threatens any of these, hesitation appears. This explains why someone can clearly want an opportunity but still feel anxious about moving forward. Their desire says yes. Their fear says slow down. They are not resisting you. They are protecting themselves. When you understand this, you stop taking resistance personally. You stop trying to pressure people. You start helping them feel safe. 2. Fear of Risk Risk is not mathematical. It is emotional. Two people can look at the same opportunity and interpret risk completely differently. One sees possibility. One sees danger. One sees growth. One sees exposure. One sees a path forward. One sees everything that could go wrong. Risk is tied to a person’s past experiences, their confidence level, their self-image, and their emotional history. When people say they need to “think about it,” they usually mean they still sense risk and cannot yet articulate why.