7d • The Boardroom
CHAPTER 5… FEAR, LOSS, AND THE HIDDEN FORCES BEHIND EVERY YES OR NO
MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE. A New Effective You. by Dr. Dave Siefkes.
Every decision a person makes is shaped by two invisible forces.
The desire to gain something and the fear of losing something.
One pulls them forward. One holds them back. And fear is almost always stronger.
If you want to understand why people hesitate, why they avoid decisions, why they delay action, and why they talk themselves out of opportunities they clearly want, you must understand these two forces. They drive everything.
People wrongly assume they are choosing between Option A and Option B.
They aren’t.
They are choosing between gain and loss.
The emotional brain evaluates both. The logical brain just tells the story afterward.
When a person considers a decision, three kinds of fear appear instantly.
1. Fear of Loss
This is the strongest motivator in the human brain. People will work harder to avoid losing something than they will to gain something. The emotional brain is wired this way.
Loss can mean money, time, safety, comfort, control, familiarity, or certainty.
If an option threatens any of these, hesitation appears.
This explains why someone can clearly want an opportunity but still feel anxious about moving forward. Their desire says yes. Their fear says slow down. They are not resisting you. They are protecting themselves.
When you understand this, you stop taking resistance personally.
You stop trying to pressure people.
You start helping them feel safe.
2. Fear of Risk
Risk is not mathematical. It is emotional.
Two people can look at the same opportunity and interpret risk completely differently.
One sees possibility.
One sees danger.
One sees growth.
One sees exposure.
One sees a path forward.
One sees everything that could go wrong.
Risk is tied to a person’s past experiences, their confidence level, their self-image, and their emotional history. When people say they need to “think about it,” they usually mean they still sense risk and cannot yet articulate why.
Reducing emotional risk is one of the most powerful ways to accelerate a decision.
3. Fear of Regret
This is the quiet fear behind most hesitation.
“What if I make the wrong choice?”
“What if this doesn’t work?”
“What if I look foolish?”
“What if I disappoint someone?”
“What if I can’t deliver?”
“What if the safer option was the smarter one?”
Regret is emotionally painful. The brain tries to avoid it. When regret feels possible, the emotional brain tightens the brakes. Even a strong desire can be blocked by the fear of future disappointment.
Your job is not to force a decision. Your job is to help them visualize the right one.
** Most People Believe They Are Avoiding the Decision...
…They are actually avoiding the emotion.**
People do not fear the decision itself. They fear the emotional consequences of the decision. When you understand this, everything becomes clearer.
A hesitation is not a no.
A question is not resistance.
A delay is not disagreement.
A pause is not a lack of interest.
It is the emotional brain asking for reassurance.
Influence is not about overpowering fear. It is about quieting it.
When fear goes down, clarity goes up.
When loss feels smaller, possibility feels bigger.
When risk feels manageable, momentum appears.
When regret feels unlikely, confidence rises.
You guide this shift not through pressure, but through understanding.
You help them articulate what they want.
You help them feel the safety and logic of the decision.
You help them see that not choosing also has a cost, often a larger one.
When the emotional brain sees that the fear of missing out is stronger than the fear of moving forward, the decision becomes easy.
In the next chapter, we will go deeper into the emotional triggers that create movement. You will learn the specific emotional states that unlock desire, create trust, and turn hesitation into confidence. These triggers are the core of every effective close.
But before we move on, carry this truth with you.
Every yes or no is shaped by fear and loss.
When you understand these forces, you no longer guess what someone is thinking.
You see the architecture of the decision clearly, and you can guide it with precision.
©️Copyright 2025 Dr. Dave Siefkes
2
0 comments
CHAPTER 5… FEAR, LOSS, AND THE HIDDEN FORCES BEHIND EVERY YES OR NO
skool.com/guerrillamarketing
Creative Infusion Team brings bold thinkers together to spark guerrilla marketing, sharp strategy, AI and unstoppable momentum for your business.
Leaderboard (30-day)
1
+5
Powered by