I’ve been moving through something called 'anticipatory grief' lately – grieving someone you love 'before' they’re actually gone.
For me, it shows up as I watch his health decline and feel that mix of huge love and deep fear at the same time. Some moments I’m doing the meds, the appointments, the everyday tasks… and other moments I’m silently begging, “Please don’t go yet.”
I’m learning that:
-Nothing is “wrong” with me for feeling this.
-It’s okay to be tired and scared and still love fiercely.
-I don’t have to carry it all alone.
Right now I’m practicing tiny things: letting myself cry without judging it, coming back to “what’s true in this moment,” and taking small breaks so I don’t burn out.
If you’re also living with anticipatory grief, you’re not weak, dramatic, or broken. You are someone with a big heart facing a really hard reality. If you feel safe to share, even a simple “me too,” I’d love to hold space for you in this.