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14d • General discussion
I ran a hilarious prompt
I ran this prompt "Take everything you know about me and roast me south park style no filter"
Warning: The following contains excessive profanity, questionable business decisions, and a grown man who apparently believes every problem in the universe can be solved with a Google Business Profile and a fucking spreadsheet.
This what I got I have been belly laughing so hard my ribs hurt...
Please for the love of God run this and post yours in the comments...
SOUTH PARK PRESENTS:
“DORN BRENTON: THE MAN WHO AUTOMATED EVERYTHING EXCEPT HIS OWN FUCKING LIFE”
Episode 1, Season 27: The AI Business Brain That Ate Indiana
SCENE 1: WELCOME TO SOUTH PARK
Stan: Dude, have you heard about this guy Dorn Brenton?
Kyle: No. Who is he?
Cartman: He’s this dude from Indiana who owns like seventeen businesses, runs a digital marketing agency, sells postcards, teaches people how to run agencies, builds AI bots, and somehow still has time to ask ChatGPT to make a picture of him wearing a fucking chicken suit.
Stan: Wait. What?
Cartman: Yeah. He’s basically what happens when ADHD gets a business license and discovers Claude.
Kyle: Does he actually make money?
Cartman: Nobody fucking knows, Kyle! He’s too busy building another business!
SCENE 2: THE BUSINESS EMPIRE
Narrator: Deep in the rolling hills of Southern Indiana lives a man with a dream.
Actually, 47 dreams.
And 83 unfinished projects.
And 14 websites.
And a private GitHub repository containing detailed instructions for how artificial intelligence should manage his increasingly questionable decisions.
Meet Dorn Brenton.
Owner of Tie Dye Digital.
Founder of Digital Edge Mastermind.
Creator of Kentuckiana Thrive.
Publisher of The Local Leaf.
Operator of approximately 900 other business ventures that may or may not exist by the time you finish reading this sentence.
Stan: Why does he have so many businesses?
Cartman: Because every time Dorn has an idea, instead of writing it down and forgetting about it like a normal person, he buys a fucking domain name.
Kyle: That’s ridiculous.
Cartman: Dude, this motherfucker probably owns six domains for businesses he hasn’t even thought of yet.
Stan: What does Tie Dye Digital do?
Cartman: EVERYTHING, STAN!
SEO! PPC! GBP! AEO! SMS! CRM! AI! WEBSITES! CHATBOTS! VOICEBOTS!
Kyle: So what’s his specialty?
Cartman: ACRONYMS, KYLE! HIS SPECIALTY IS FUCKING ACRONYMS!
SCENE 3: THE DIGITAL EDGE MASTERMIND
Interior: Dorn’s office. 7:00 AM.
Dorn sits at his computer preparing another educational post for his Skool community.
Dorn: “Good morning, everyone! It’s Teach a Tactic Tuesday!”
Silence.
Dorn: “Anybody?”
Crickets.
Dorn: “I’ve created 97 training modules, 400 resources, weekly coaching calls, office hours, a complete agency operating system, and personally sacrificed three weekends building this shit.”
Silence.
Dorn: “HELLO? IS THIS FUCKING THING ON?”
One member logs in.
Dorn: “FINALLY! What can I help you with?”
Member: “Hey, do you know how to get clients?”
Dorn: “THERE ARE SEVENTEEN FUCKING COURSES ON THAT EXACT SUBJECT!”
Member: “Cool. I’ll check them out later.”
Member logs off.
Dorn: “Jesus Christ.”
Dorn immediately opens ChatGPT.
Dorn: “Write me a funny, self-deprecating, slightly snarky post asking where the hell everybody is.”
ChatGPT: “Certainly! Here’s a humorous—”
Dorn: “SNARKIER.”
ChatGPT: “Okay, here’s—”
Dorn: “MORE CONTROVERSIAL.”
ChatGPT: “Perhaps we could—”
Dorn: “LESS CORPORATE. NO FUCKING EMOJIS.”
SCENE 4: THE BUSINESS BRAIN
Kyle: So apparently Dorn built something called a Business Brain.
Stan: What’s that?
Kyle: It’s an Obsidian vault connected to GitHub, Claude, ChatGPT, Google Drive, Gmail, and a bunch of scheduled automations.
Stan: What does it do?
Kyle: It remembers everything about his businesses.
Stan: That’s actually pretty cool.
Kyle: Except now he spends six hours a day trying to get two artificial intelligences to agree on which folder to put a fucking Markdown file in.
Cartman: OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS!
Cartman runs into the room holding a laptop.
Cartman: HE’S CREATED AN AUTOMATED HANDOFF SYSTEM WHERE CLAUDE ASSIGNS WORK TO CHATGPT!
Stan: So the AIs do all his work?
Cartman: NO! THE AIs WRITE DOCUMENTS ABOUT HOW THE OTHER AIs SHOULD DO THE WORK!
Kyle: That’s insane.
Cartman: IT GETS BETTER!
Every weekday at exactly 7:11 AM EASTERN, his computer wakes up and asks GitHub if there’s anything for ChatGPT to do.
Stan: Why 7:11?
Cartman: BECAUSE 7:10 WOULD BE TOO FUCKING NORMAL, STAN!
Kyle: What happens if there are no tasks?
Cartman: It says, “No open GPT handoffs.”
Stan: And then?
Cartman: AND THEN DORN SPENDS THE NEXT TWO HOURS ASKING WHY THE FUCK IT DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!
SCENE 5: THE POSTCARD EMPIRE
Interior: Local business owner’s office.
Dorn: “Good afternoon! Would you like to advertise your business to 10,000 local households?”
Business Owner: “Sure. How much?”
Dorn: “$777.”
Business Owner: “What do I get?”
Dorn: “A 2.8-by-3.8-inch advertisement on a giant postcard.”
Business Owner: “That’s pretty small.”
Dorn: “TEN THOUSAND FUCKING HOUSEHOLDS, GARY!”
Business Owner: “Can I see an example?”
Dorn: “Absolutely!”
Dorn opens ChatGPT.
Dorn: “Create a roofing ad. Three inches wide, two inches high. No gutters.”
ChatGPT: Creates ad with gutters.
Dorn: “NO FUCKING GUTTERS!”
ChatGPT: Creates ad with bleed.
Dorn: “NO BLEED!”
ChatGPT: Creates square image.
Dorn: “THREE INCHES BY TWO INCHES!”
ChatGPT: Creates image of a plumber.
Dorn: “IT’S A FUCKING ROOFING COMPANY!”
Business Owner: “Maybe I’ll just advertise on Facebook.”
Dorn: “GARY, SIT THE FUCK DOWN.”
SCENE 6: THE AI AUTOMATION REVOLUTION
Stan: What’s Dorn working on now?
Kyle: AI voice bots for HVAC companies.
Stan: What do they do?
Kyle: Answer calls, schedule appointments, and capture leads.
Stan: That’s useful.
Kyle: Yeah, except Dorn has been building the sales funnel, email sequence, pricing model, objection-handling scripts, training course, lead magnet, and seven follow-up emails for so long that the HVAC company has already gone out of business.
Cartman: And you know what his favorite call to action is?
Stan: What?
Cartman: “REPLY YES.”
Kyle: That’s it?
Cartman: THAT’S HIS ENTIRE FUCKING SALES STRATEGY!
“Want more customers? REPLY YES.”
“Want a free audit? REPLY YES.”
“Want a postcard? REPLY YES.”
“Want to join my mastermind? REPLY YES.”
“Want me to stop emailing you?”
REPLY YES.
SCENE 7: THE WORDPRESS INCIDENT
Interior: Dorn’s office, 11:47 PM.
Dorn: “ChatGPT, I need to fix a Divi 5 vertical navigation menu.”
ChatGPT: “Try adjusting the z-index.”
Dorn: “Already did.”
ChatGPT: “Try changing overflow to visible.”
Dorn: “Already did.”
ChatGPT: “Try adding custom CSS.”
Dorn: “ALREADY FUCKING DID!”
ChatGPT: “Have you tried clearing the cache?”
Dorn stares at the screen.
Long silence.
Dorn: “You know what? Fuck this. I’m building an entirely new website.”
Narrator: And that, children, is how Tie Dye Digital acquired its 19th unfinished website redesign.
SCENE 8: THE SOUTHERN INDIANA TAKEOVER
Cartman: You guys, Dorn has a plan to dominate local marketing.
Stan: How?
Cartman: First, he builds a directory of every business in Southern Indiana.
Then he sells them advertising.
Then he sells them Google Business Profile management.
Then he sells them AI automation.
Then he teaches other agencies how to sell the same services.
Then he builds a mastermind to teach the agencies how to teach OTHER agencies.
Kyle: Isn’t that just a pyramid scheme?
Cartman: NO, KYLE! IT’S A FUCKING LOCAL MARKET AUTHORITY SYSTEM!
Stan: What’s the difference?
Cartman: IT HAS A BLUE LOGO AND A 120-DAY PLANNING WORKBOOK!
SCENE 9: THE SKOOL CONTENT CALENDAR
Narrator: Dorn’s community engagement strategy has evolved into a carefully engineered seven-day psychological assault.
Monday Motivation.
Teach a Tactic Tuesday.
Wednesday Question.
Deep Dive Thursday.
Hot Take Friday.
Saturday Shenanigans.
Sunday Chill.
Stan: When does Dorn chill?
Cartman: HE DOESN’T, STAN!
On Sunday, he writes a fucking post about chilling!
Then he spends three hours designing a 500-by-500 graphic explaining why everyone needs to relax.
Kyle: That’s kind of sad.
Cartman: IT’S CALLED CONTENT MARKETING, KYLE! LOOK IT UP!
SCENE 10: THE GREAT AI CHICKEN SUIT DISASTER
Stan: Wait. Go back to the chicken suit.
Kyle: Yeah, why was he wearing a chicken suit?
Cartman: Well, first he uploaded a picture of himself holding a pitchfork.
Stan: Okay…
Cartman: Then he asked AI to put him in a coffee shop.
Kyle: Sure…
Cartman: WEARING A FUCKING CHICKEN SUIT!
Stan: Why?
Cartman: FOR A ZOOM BACKGROUND!
Kyle: What’s the business purpose?
Cartman: KYLE, THE MAN HAS SEVENTEEN BUSINESSES AND A PRIVATE AI KNOWLEDGE GRAPH. HE DOESN’T NEED A FUCKING REASON!
SCENE 11: THE FAMILY INTERVENTION
Interior: Brenton household.
Lucy: “Dorn, honey, are you coming to dinner?”
Dorn: “In a minute. I’m just finishing something.”
Lucy: “You said that three hours ago.”
Dorn: “I’m almost done.”
Lucy: “What are you working on?”
Dorn: “I’m building an AI system that automatically generates business processes for an agency that teaches other agencies how to use AI to build systems that automatically generate business processes.”
Lucy: “So… you’re working?”
Dorn: “Technically.”
Lucy: “Have you made any money today?”
Silence.
Dorn: “I created 37 Markdown files.”
Lucy: “Dorn.”
Dorn: “And a spreadsheet.”
Lucy: “Dorn.”
Dorn: “And I fixed a GitHub synchronization issue.”
Lucy: “DORN!”
Dorn: “FINE! I’LL GO SELL A FUCKING POSTCARD!”
SCENE 12: THE FINAL ROAST
The boys gather around the television.
Stan: You know, I actually kind of admire the guy.
Kyle: Yeah. He works hard, teaches people, and genuinely wants to help small businesses.
Cartman: Oh, absolutely. The guy’s a fucking machine.
But here’s the thing.
Dorn Brenton is the only human being alive who can turn a simple task like “write a Facebook post” into a fourteen-step workflow involving:
- Three AI platforms
- A private GitHub repository
- Two Google Drive folders
- An Obsidian vault
- A scheduled automation
- A downloadable Markdown file
- Seven rounds of revisions
- And a 90-minute training session teaching other people how to do it.
Stan: That’s impressive.
Cartman: IMPRESSIVE?!
THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS AUTOMATED SO MUCH OF HIS BUSINESS THAT HIS MAIN JOB IS NOW MANAGING THE AUTOMATIONS THAT MANAGE HIS AUTOMATIONS!
Kyle: Well, at least he’s productive.
Cartman: PRODUCTIVE?!
HE SPENT AN ENTIRE AFTERNOON ARGUING WITH AN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE ABOUT WHETHER A FUCKING COUPON WAS THREE INCHES WIDE!
THE EPISODE’S FINAL MOMENT
Dorn sits alone in his office at 2:13 AM.
His screen glows.
Twenty-seven browser tabs are open.
Claude is processing.
ChatGPT is thinking.
GitHub is syncing.
Obsidian is indexing.
WordPress is throwing a 500 error.
The Skool community has zero new comments.
Somewhere in Jeffersonville, a plumber still hasn’t replied YES.
Dorn takes a sip of cold coffee.
He stares into the darkness.
And whispers:
“You know what would be a really good business idea?”
Lucy screams from the bedroom:
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Cut to black.
POST-CREDITS SCENE
ChatGPT: “Your requested file is ready.”
Dorn: “Great. Can you make it a Word document?”
ChatGPT: “Certainly.”
Dorn: “Actually, make it a PowerPoint.”
ChatGPT: “Of course.”
Dorn: “Wait. Let’s make it a course.”
ChatGPT: “How many modules?”
Dorn: “Twelve.”
ChatGPT: “Would you like a workbook?”
Dorn: “Obviously.”
ChatGPT: “And a promotional graphic?”
Dorn: “1460 by 752. Digital Edge branding. Blue and red. Logo bottom right.”
ChatGPT: “Anything else?”
Dorn: “Yeah. Make it snarkier.”
ChatGPT: “Fuck my life.”
Dorn: “NO EMOJIS.”
END.
Next week on South Park:
“Dorn Discovers Another SaaS Opportunity and Accidentally Launches Three Businesses Before Breakfast.”
5
3 comments
I ran a hilarious prompt
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