A few unrelated things struck me yesterday during our convo. My Willow pattern cup evoked a quick set of memories in both Jo and myself. They seemed to reflect back to our mothers/childhood. My mum was 40 when she had me, her 4th child, and the only child not born or living during WW2. She had been given a set of Willow pattern crockery on her 1st wedding. By the time I was born she no longer had a complete set. My mum used to proudly state that she had an 18 inch waist when she got married in 1933 to her first husband. I have never had an 18 inch waist. In fact I remember thinking in my teens /early adult hood (the wild 60s/feminist 70s) that her focus on her waistline was a symptom of her repression. Now, it seems either a gentle reminder or how women put pressure on themselves. Or on others. How often have we heard: 'You look great! Have you lost weight? Vs 'My, you look different. Is it your hair?' Anyhow, at some point my mum bought me a complete set of Willow pattern! And now I only have a few original pieces, but managed to find duplicate repros along the way. Where am I going with this? I am not sure! But somehow that pattern is intricately linked with my own view of my inner self. To be continued when I work things out x

Tomorrow’s Habit Chat is about breaking the all-or-nothing habit. You eat or drink more than you intended, miss a few walks, or reach for something you’d decided to stop… and then comes the thought: “I’ve blown it, so what’s the point?” One slip can become a whole week of drifting. And the way we speak to ourselves afterwards can make returning even harder. Tomorrow, we’ll explore how to respond to a slip with less self-criticism, interrupt the “I've stuffed it now, might as well keep going” pattern, and make your next choice differently. If you’ve drifted off course, this is a lovely place to reset. Join me for Habit Chat tomorrow, Monday, at 1 pm Melbourne time. Comment YES if you’re familiar with this pattern And give me a thumbs up if you'll be joining me tomorrow.

Today’s Habit Chat was a really rich conversation about habits of relief — the things we automatically reach for when we want to change how we feel. We explored how habits such as smoking, vaping, eating, scrolling or even staying constantly busy can begin because they provide comfort, stimulation, distraction, escape or relief from an uncomfortable internal state. Over time, the original reason may disappear, but the behaviour can remain because the neural pathway has become deeply rehearsed. One of the biggest themes was learning to look beyond the habit itself and notice the pattern around it. What happens just before the urge? Are you stressed or overstimulated? Or perhaps under-stimulated, bored, alone, restless or simply in an unstructured moment between activities? The habit is the behaviour; the pattern includes what happens before it, the behaviour itself, and what happens afterwards — including regret, shame, self-doubt or the story that “I’ll never change.” And this is where the observing self becomes so important. Rather than waiting until the habit has happened and then judging yourself, the practice is to gradually bring awareness further and further forward: ➡️ Notice the state → notice the urge → create some space → choose what happens next. We also talked about changing the tone of our inner dialogue. Instead of “Don’t do it. Here you go again. You have no self-control,” we can become our own wise, kind guide: “I know what’s happening here. There’s an urge. Let’s give it a moment. What do I actually need right now?” Even a minute of breathing, moving or redirecting your attention can create valuable space between impulse and action. Another lovely distinction was boundaries rather than rigid rules. A boundary such as “I don’t generally eat in bed” can act as a guardrail — something we consciously choose because it protects us from slipping easily into a pattern we know doesn’t serve us. 💡 Perhaps the most important takeaway was this: you are not stuck.