16h • General Discussion
đź’ˇ Money Reset: How Childhood Adversity Shapes Our Money, Stress & Communication
Hey everyone — today I want to share some powerful insights from psychology research about how our early life experiences (especially ACEs, or Adverse Childhood Experiences) shape the way we deal with money, stress, and even how we communicate with others.
🔍 What the Research Shows
- ACEs are common and costly. Around 63% of U.S. adults report at least one ACE. These early adversities are strongly linked to worse health outcomes, risky behaviors, and economic struggles later in life. The financial burden is massive — both in healthcare costs and lost productivity.
- ACEs and financial stress. People who experienced childhood adversity are more likely to face financial stress as adults, even if their income is similar to others. Insecurity around housing, food, and money tends to show up more often.
- Mental health and money habits. ACEs are associated with higher levels of anxiety, depression, and difficulty regulating emotions. This often shows up in money behaviors: compulsive spending, avoiding bills, or using money to cope with stress.
- Childhood financial strain leaves a mark. Even if a child wasn’t abused or neglected, simply growing up in a household with financial instability can create lasting emotional distress and insecurity around money.
- Socioeconomic trajectory. Young adults with ACE histories are more likely to face unemployment, lower education, and long-term financial disadvantage.
- Communication and safety. One protective factor is emotional intelligence and safe relationships. Studies show that when people develop emotional intelligence, or feel safe reaching out to trusted adults, they’re better able to regulate stress and communicate openly — even with a background of adversity.
🔄 How This Shows Up in Everyday Life
- Money scarcity beliefs: “I’ll never have enough,” “Money always runs out,” “Spending is dangerous.”
- Stress-driven habits: avoiding looking at finances, overspending, or impulsive purchases as a way to self-soothe.
- Physical toll: higher baseline stress, poor sleep, health problems that amplify financial anxiety.
- Communication struggles: shame or fear of being judged makes it harder to talk about money with partners, family, or advisors.
🔧 Reset Moves
Here are some small but powerful steps you can experiment with:
- Name your money story. Write down your earliest memories about money — what you saw, what you heard, what scared you. Notice how those old patterns echo in your current behavior.
- Build emotional regulation tools. Stress often hijacks our money decisions. Try deep breathing, journaling, or even a 2-minute pause before spending or avoiding.
- Create safety in conversations. Choose one trusted person and have a money conversation this week. Even something simple like, “Here’s one thing I’m worried about financially.”
- Take a small act of financial agency. If you felt powerless as a child, reclaim power with small wins — like setting aside $10 into savings, or consciously choosing to spend on something joyful.
- Seek trauma-aware support. Therapy, financial therapy, or even books and podcasts on money psychology can help. Healing this stuff takes time, and supportive frameworks make a huge difference.
đź—“ Challenge for This Week
- Reflect on a moment when fear of “not enough” influenced a money decision.
- Pick one of the reset moves above and try it at least once this week.
- Write down the emotions you notice around money (shame, guilt, relief, fear, pride) and connect them back to where they might have started.
This is the deep work of the Money Reset: untangling the threads between our past and our present, so we can create a healthier, more abundant future.
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đź’ˇ Money Reset: How Childhood Adversity Shapes Our Money, Stress & Communication
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