The Hardest Person to Be Honest With

I had a conversation recently with someone I respect a lot, and he said something that stuck with me. He said, "I'm honest with everyone except myself."

He didn't mean he was a liar. He meant that when it came to other people, he could see things clearly. He could name what was going on, give thoughtful feedback, even have hard conversations. But when it came to his own patterns, his own avoidance, his own places where he wasn't showing up, he had a remarkable ability to look the other way.

I related to that more than I wanted to admit.

Being honest with yourself is harder than being honest with others because there's no one holding you accountable for it. You can go years telling yourself a story about why you do what you do, and nobody will challenge it because nobody else can see inside your head.

I think real growth starts the moment you stop buying your own explanations. Not in a harsh, self-critical way. Just in a quiet, honest way. Where you look at the distance between what you say matters to you and how you actually spend your time and energy, and you let yourself see it without flinching.

That's uncomfortable. But it's also where everything begins to shift.

When was the last time you were truly honest with yourself about something you'd been avoiding?

2 comments

The Hardest Person to Be Honest With