Mar 21 • Brotherhood
" Proud of You...."
It takes no effort to say those three words, but if people don't hear them, occasionally,
often, you end up with people who are down and depressed...
How many folks do you know that (still) have a chip on their shoulder
becuz they never felt like their parents were proud of them?
I am, one of them.
How many marriages and relationships end in separation and divorce
becuz the partners feel taken for granted?
And when I forget the importance of this, I immediately see the results.
When it comes to competitive sports, Pari is a good player. But her personality is more
thinking. And reading.
But an athletic competition? She didn't care.
That's not her thing.
Pari likes running,. But she doesn't have that athlete's killers instinct.
We signed her up for English Olympiad the other day. And Indian classical singing classes. She's been regularly engaged in these.
Not running.
When I watch her run, though, I want her to have that killer instinct.
" To WIN, MOVE, BREAKTHROUGH'
She's not me, though
And when I forget that and comment on how she could have played better. What she hears is "My Dad isn't proud of me."
I saw it clearly a few weeks ago.
We were in the living room.
We started to talk about how she could have done 'run differently.
Start right
Run faster.
Sprint at the finish
How she needs to...., when....
When I asked, "right?" to get her confirmation. She just sat there.
Stared out of the window.
Wouldn't answer. Pari is easy to read...
She was sad. Her feelings were hurt.
"My Dad isn't proud of me"
In that moment, seeing what I had done to her, I learned the power of those words.
"I'm proud of you" vs the alternative " You could've done better."
One builds a kid. Gives her confidence.
The other destroys a kid.
(Sometimes these lessons are so obvious - I feel like an idiot}
And it's not just with kids. It's with adults too.
I felt it last night when my wife wrote a note, who doesn't write often, about how proud of me she was. Recognizing my hard work and commitment
It doesn't take a lot to make someone feel important.
"I'm proud of you"
That's it.
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" Proud of You...."
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