Jun 27 • Brotherhood
On dropping the need to explain yourself...some lessons must be seen from experience
One of the remarkable things about Brojo's content is that there are many things I'll see and think "oh, that sounds reasonable I guess, but I'm not sure why he's making a big deal out of it, ok maybe I'll look into this more later" and then that later comes in the room of life showing up uninvited and teaching me the lesson first hand, and then I see the wisdom and go back to review it.
This is very much the case with the idea that you don't need to explain yourself. Dan made sense in talking about it, but I didn't quite get it, I figured "people are reasonable, I want them to understand and agree with what I want to do if they are to cooperate in some way, so I should be able to, and so must undertake the effort to explain the reasoning for what I am doing and make sure they get it" and didn't think such a mindset present any real issues.
Well, in the past year, I've had a couple colleagues who I've worked with on a project who are very ignorant about some things. And I've tried extensively to try to convince them of some facts I find quite obvious, but ultimately wasting hours upon hours of time only to get frustrated with their inability to understand.
The fact of the matter is that it comes down to them simply not having read and studied the relevant topic anywhere close to the degree I have, while also being young and having a dearth of life experience. And they are no closer to understanding anything now than before. But if they don't take a respectable student's frame, why should I indulge them? They don't have anywhere near the publications I have, and I have a variety of collaborations in my work so it's not like the problem is on my end as far as inability to cooperate.
And so, while at this point the clear solution is "I am right on this, you can choose to work with me under these premises, or not, but I am not interested in your attempts to argue"...and it's one I should have taken from the beginning, and it would've saved me lots of wasted time and emotional frustration.
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On dropping the need to explain yourself...some lessons must be seen from experience
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