Jan 17 • Daily Dose of Integrity
Help! I've hit a self development plateau!
How to Break Through Personal Development Plateaus
Have you ever noticed that personal development often begins at rock bottom? People hit a crisis point, a state of emotional discomfort so intense that staying the same becomes unbearable. Tony Robbins puts it well: “The pain of change becomes less than the pain of staying the same.” This crisis sparks action, pushing individuals out of stasis and into transformation.
But what happens next? After some initial progress and relief, many people hit a plateau. The crisis is over, the immediate discomfort is relieved, and they slip back into familiar patterns. They find themselves stuck again, comfortable yet unfulfilled.
Why Do People Plateau?
The human brain is wired for conservation—of energy, resources, and familiarity. It seeks to maintain stasis, resisting change unless absolutely necessary. This means that even after making some progress, the brain tries to settle back into what’s comfortable.
When people start feeling better, their motivation often wanes. The urgency is gone, and they stop pushing themselves. This is incredibly common and something I’ve seen time and time again.
The Pattern of Relapse
During my time with live Brojo meetups, I observed a recurring pattern. A man would join, desperate due to struggles in his romantic life. His crisis would push him to try something new, like radical honesty. Initially, it worked. He would start to see success, maybe even get into a relationship.
And then, like clockwork, he would disappear. What happened? He got comfortable. The relationship brought temporary relief, and he stopped doing the things that had brought him success. Inevitably, the old behaviors crept back in, eroding the relationship. Some would return, confused about why things had fallen apart.
The Brain’s Resistance to Change
Our brains are designed to resist change because change is hard. It requires energy and effort, both of which the brain would rather conserve. The brain prefers familiar discomfort over unfamiliar effort. This is why it’s so easy to fall back into old habits once the initial crisis is over.
How to Push Past the Plateau
So, how do you continue growing even after the crisis has passed? Here are some practical strategies:
1. Understand Your Brain’s Motives
Recognize that your brain is always trying to conserve energy. It will exaggerate the difficulty of tasks to deter you from acting. Knowing this can help you push past the lies your brain tells you, like “I’m too tired” or “This is too much work.”
2. Break Tasks into Small Steps
Reduce the size of your steps until it’s embarrassing not to do them. Your brain creates the “Everest effect” by making tasks seem insurmountable. Instead, focus on micro-tasks. For example, if going to a jiu-jitsu class feels overwhelming, start by simply driving to the location and looking through the window. No further obligation.
3. Avoid Information Overload
Stop gathering excessive information. Once you have enough to act, do so. The brain rewards you for compiling information, even if it leads to inaction. Act on one idea to gain experience and refine your choices.
4. Reflect on Future Feelings
When you’re tempted to skip a task, ask yourself, “How will I feel about this tomorrow?” Imagine the regret of not acting and use that to motivate yourself. Often, the discomfort of future regret is enough to push you into action.
Embrace the Challenge
Understand that your brain will always prefer familiarity and resist change. This is a lifelong battle, but it does get easier. As you continue to push past these plateaus, your brain will eventually begin to support change rather than resist it.
Remember, growth is about consistently showing up, even when it’s hard. Make your tasks manageable, act on them, and allow yourself the freedom to reassess at each step. Over time, you’ll build a momentum that carries you forward, past the plateaus, and into continuous personal development.
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Help! I've hit a self development plateau!
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