This morning my ex fiancé came to get his furniture from te flat we shared, it was honestly extremely hard as his parents were with him, his mom held me tight while crying with me about my pain from him leaving me, when I said my final goodbye to him it wasn’t much words only a hug where silence spoke loudly, he gave me the type of hug he used to give me during the relationship when he wasn’t feeling okay and just wanted me to hold him, he held on to me tighter than I was holding on to him, he rested his head on my head and whispered I’m sorry, I just shook my head and whispered back I love you, he hugged me tighter and then I turned around and walked away.
It was very painful as I still have hope that maybe one day we will find each other again but this time as the versions God intended for us to be. I still love him so much but I know now that even tho he makes everything seem okay and better without me he feels the pain too. But I also don’t want to get my hopes up but I pray we find our way back and I choose to believe in what I pray.