Trying to build discipline by putting this here

I dont want to put this here because I fell again but I was doing good Hod was taking care of me I hadn’t really let any intrusive thoughts in I was reubuking them and it was great steady waters and I got attacked in my sleep now and later in not even by noon I fell today but this was 100% me I chose it it was wrong I did bad and it wasn’t worth it whatsoever and ik God doesn’t hate me but I’m so mad and disappointed in myself I don’t want the uplifting comments saying stay strong and stuff because I wasn’t relying on God and he even gave me a way out I could’ve left the room and still chose it please pray for me father what I did was wrong thankyou for convicting me I’m sorry I grieved you and your Holy Spirit please work on me change my heart lord it was absolutely disgusting I wanna repent and change and I need you lord I’m sorry please forgive me and help me God give me strength for now on I wanna rely on you and choose you your so good to me Hod even when I’m bad and I pray that you be with your other children here and help us to surrender and rely on you father I love you please guide me for you will and glory in Jesus name I pray amen

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