There was a season in my life where I felt like I had messed up too much, like I had drifted too far for God to still want me. I carried guilt, shame, and a quiet belief that maybe I had disqualified myself from His purpose. But God met me right there. Not with condemnation, but with grace. He reminded me that His calling on my life didn’t change just because I stumbled. “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29) If you’ve ever felt like you’ve gone too far or failed too deeply, please hear this: You haven’t. God still has plans for you. He still loves you. And His arms are still open. If this resonates with you, I’d love to pray for you or talk more, drop a comment or message me. You’re not alone.

Glad to be here.

Just to give some background: I recently came much closer to Christ after years of being on Self-Improvement. I saw the abominations of the red-pill community, so I decided to leave and focus my best efforts on Christ. I define meditation as "Mindfulness Meditation" which is focusing on your breath, trying to get rid of any thoughts that come to mind to maintain presence or "Mindfulness" throughout your regular life. As I've learned more about Christianity, I learned that Christian's don't really participate in meditation. My argument FOR meditation was that if you're able to maintain presence, you're able to feel God's Spirit better than you otherwise would. Scripture describes our relationship to God as in us moving closer or further from Him. God doesn't move, and I figured if you could be more mindful, then you can easier see your location, as in you'll move FASTER towards Him or realize you're moving away quicker. "That sounds great! What's wrong about that?" A few things. Meditation dulls life like crazy. I'm a walking testimony of this, I've meditated 100s maybe even over 1000s hours over the past 4 years. I don't really feel a lot. God calls us to put our worries and desires onto Him, but since I (talking about me just to give an example) can't do that very well, because I don't "feel" really anything. That WORSENS my relationship with Him, which goes against the entire point of me doing it. Meditation made me happier when I started Self-Improvement because I had horrible mental health, which is why I promote it so much, but I'm coming to realize that meditation isn't something Christian's are called to do. In fact, it may be sin. If you go back to the roots of meditation it's a Buddhist practice, which you can just say "Yeah but just ignore that part" (Like I did), but that's like doing Islamic rituals, but "ignoring" the Islam part. Meditation IS Buddhism, and one of the commandments is something along the lines of "You shall have no other gods before Me" (I don't have them memorized yet). Buddhism doesn't really believe in a "God", but it's still worship something that takes you away from the pain of the world, which in turn takes you away from the pleasures.

I fell. And I feel as if I just made the last straw against God.

I've been on Self-Improvement for roughly 4 years, and recently as I've doven deeper into Christianity I've realized how sinful it can inherently be with so much focus on the "Self". For men specifically, there's so much focus on banging "this girl" or "that girl", or making as much money as possible, and it's masked with a "purposeful" layer. It's masked with a layer of "Oh I only had sex with 12 women because I wanted to practice for my future wife!". I'm very happy to see that there are communities like this, because it shows me (who owns my own community) that it's possible to get people into Christ based Self-Improvement. Thank you all ✝