19d • General discussion
Why You “Should” Be Cautious Of Using The Word “Should”
If you are a student of mine or if you’ve ever signed up for coaching with me you already know this lesson. Take heed:
According to the Akashic Records, the word “should” is one of the most revealing words in the human language.
Not because the word itself is inherently negative.
But because it often reveals the relationship between reality and expectation.
The Records suggest that whenever a person says “should,” they are frequently expressing one of three things:
A preference.
An attachment.
Or a judgment.
Most people are unaware of which one they are expressing.
The Neutral Use Of “Should”
Let’s begin here.
The word itself is not the problem.
For example:
“You should drink water if you’re dehydrated.”
This is simply practical.
No spiritual distortion exists.
The Records are not concerned with vocabulary.
They are concerned with consciousness.
The deeper question is:
What energy is hiding behind the word?
“Should” And Resistance To Reality
The most common spiritual consequence of “should” is resistance.
The moment we say:
“This shouldn’t be happening.”
We create conflict with what already is.
Reality says:
This is happening.
The mind says:
It shouldn’t be.
Suffering is often born in the gap between those two positions.
The Records frequently describe suffering as:
Arguing with reality.
Not because reality is always pleasant.
But because reality is already here.
The Hidden Judgment
Many uses of “should” contain an unconscious judgment.
For example:
“He should know better.”
“She should be more mature.”
“I should be farther along by now.”
Notice what is implied.
A comparison between what is and what the mind believes ought to be.
The judgment may be directed:
Toward others.
Toward life.
Toward oneself.
But judgment is often present.
The Violence Of Self-Shoulding
According to the Records, one of the most destructive forms is:
“I should be different.”
This is the ego attempting to improve itself through rejection.
Many seekers live here.
I should be more spiritual.
I should be healed by now.
I shouldn’t feel this.
I should know better.
Notice the underlying message:
Who I am right now is unacceptable.
The Records suggest transformation grows more naturally from awareness than self-rejection.
Why Mystics Become Careful With “Should”
Because the word often removes curiosity.
For example:
Instead of asking:
“Why is this occurring?”
The mind says:
“This shouldn’t be occurring.”
Inquiry stops.
Judgment begins.
Learning slows.
The Relationship To Control
The Records suggest that “should” often reveals an attempt to control reality.
Consider:
My partner should understand me.
People should be honest.
The world should be peaceful.
These may contain noble desires.
But they can also conceal an attachment to how reality must unfold.
Life rarely obeys our internal scripts.
And the more attached we become to the script, the more suffering emerges.
Does That Mean We Should Never Use “Should”?
No.
This is where many spiritual seekers become confused.
The Records do not suggest abandoning discernment.
There is a difference between:
“This should not happen.”
and
“This is not aligned.”
The first resists reality.
The second recognizes reality and responds to it.
For example:
A person may lie to you.
Reality says:
They lied.
You can acknowledge:
This happened.
And simultaneously recognize:
This behavior is not aligned with my values.
No resistance is required.
Discernment remains intact.
The Highest Alternative
The Records often suggest replacing:
“This shouldn’t be happening.”
with:
“This is happening. What is it here to teach?”
Or:
“This is happening. How shall I respond?”
Notice the difference.
Reality is accepted.
Agency remains.
Wisdom enters.
The Spiritual Function Of “Should”
Interestingly, the Records suggest “should” is not merely a problem.
It is also a diagnostic tool.
Whenever you hear yourself say:
Should.
Pause.
Ask:
What expectation am I holding?
What am I attached to?
What reality am I resisting?
What part of me feels threatened by what is?
The word becomes a doorway into self-awareness.
The Deepest Akashic Teaching
According to the Akashic Records, enlightenment is not the absence of preference.
The enlightened being still prefers honesty over deception.
Love over cruelty.
Peace over violence.
Alignment over confusion.
The difference is that they no longer require reality to obey their preferences before they can remain at peace.
The ego says:
Reality should match my expectations.
Awareness says:
Reality is what it is.
Now let me meet it consciously.
In that sense, the spiritual ramification of “should” is not that the word is wrong.
It is that the word often reveals where consciousness is attempting to substitute expectation for presence.
And whenever expectation becomes more important than presence, suffering usually follows.
The mystic therefore becomes less interested in what life should be and more interested in seeing clearly what life actually is.
For it is only from reality—not fantasy—that true transformation can begin.
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Why You “Should” Be Cautious Of Using The Word “Should”
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